Party of Jesus

A Party of Jesus State Senator from California, known to frequent gay bars in Sacramento, has been arrested on DUI charges after leaving a gay nightclub with another man, that, well you know, wink wink nudge nudge.

State Senator Roy Ashburn has always opposed gay rights. As a member of the Party of Jesus it is his religious duty to badmouth gays at every opportunity and to exploit the fear of homosexuality to win elections.

The mayor of West Sacramento, an out gay man elected by voters because he is honest, stated in front of TV cameras that he often sees anti-gay Senator Ashburn in gay bars in the company of gay men. Praise Jeebus!

Senator Ashburn, who enjoys the company of a certain sort of man, has always been an outspoken opponent of equal rights for gay men. He is a Roman Catholic, he votes against gay rights during the day and visits gay bars in the evenings. During his daytime career as a not-gay-at-all Party of Jesus legislator he has voted against a law recognizing same sex marriages and against a bill honoring Harvey Milk (source).

Until his DUI arrest with another man in the vehicle he had a talk radio program on a Kern County radio station, oddly since his bust the web link for details of his show produces a 404, not found error.

We expect Senator Ashburn will soon hold a press conference and announce “I am not gay, I never have been gay”, after all, he’s a Republican.

The Lieutenant Governor of South Carolina flaunted his Party of Jesus Family Values this week with a comment he made about financial assistance given to poor people.

“My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed! You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that.”

As a representative of the Party of Jesus Andre Bauer incorporates the true essence of Party of Jesus Family Values, he treasures and deeply cares about multi-millionaires, billionaires, and the corporations they use to collect cash from poor people.

But of course if those poor people do end up reproducing they will be buying Pampers, toys, toddler’s clothes, and all sorts of products made by corporations owned by Republicans. So even though it does violate Party of Jesus values to show compassion for less fortunate people, at least this type of personal weakness will eventually make money for Party of Jesus supporters.

Jenny Sanford, the wife of Party of Jesus South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, has filed for divorce from her husband in order to demonstrate her respect for the Sanctity of Divorce.

The Sanfords are well known for sanctity, Governor Sanford made the news a while back when he moved to protect the Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs with a lady friend in Argentina. He has also demonstrated his support for the Sanctity of Mis-Using Taxpayer Funds by having the state pay for his extra marital trips to Argentina.

Governor Sanford has long spoken out on the importance of Preserving Traditional Marriage and he has done a great job in South Carolina of making sure that marriage is protected from gay couples. After all, if gays could marry they might get married!

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford (Party of Jesus) is a member of the morally superior Jeebus-brand political party formerly known as the Republicans. Because of his moral superiority and oft-stated support for the Sanctity of Marriage it may come as a wee bit of a surprise to learn that this prominent Party of Jesus politician is facing ethics charges, like about 37 of them, for his morally superior extra-marital affair and his morally superior use of taxpayer funds to support his luxurious Party of Jesus lifestyle choice.

It’s fairly obvious that this poor, misunderstood Party of Jesus politician has been working overtime in his pious efforts to support and protect the Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs. We are having a difficult time understanding why so many liberals and New York Jew media types keep picking on this poor man. Anyone can plainly see he is no more or less than any other Party of Jesus politicians, I mean at least he does not go trolling in airport mens rooms or public parks like, well, other Party of Jesus supporters of the Sanctity of Moral Hypocrisy.

Isn’t it about time for the homo, liberal, obamacare, illegal alien President press to stop picking on this poor man? We didn’t think so either
(story)

Party of Jesus US Congressman Steven King (Iowa -no relation to the author of the same name who is not a moron) has revealed the official Party of Jesus dogma that gay marriage is a purely socialist concept. No doubt his observation is based on the prolific writings of luminaries such as Karl Marx, Lenin, and Stalin promoting the Homosexual Agenda.

Or maybe it was that piece written by Satan recently in which he urged that taxes be raised on anyone opposing gay marriage and all of the proceeds derived should be used to fund elaborate wedding receptions with nearly nude teen boy dancers recruited by ACORN from Christian homeschooling families bursting from the wedding cakes with copies of Chairman Mao’s Red Book tucked in their skimpy thongs.

The Congressman clearly is on the side of Jesus in all matters of socio-economic philosophy since he said:

If there’s a push for a socialist society, a society where the foundations of individual rights and liberties are undermined and everybody is thrown together living collectively off one pot of resources earned by everyone, this is one of the goals they have to go through is same-sex marriage because it has to plow through marriage in order to get to their goal. Not only is it a radical social idea, it is a purely socialist concept in the final analysis.

Apparently socialism is what happens when Jeebus-brand morons don’t get their way, and if that young couple down the street is allowed to get married the ACORN trucks will pull up in front of Representative King’s residence and take away all of his worldly goods because socialism will have won and Christianity will be outlawed. Beware of slopes that are slippery!

Technorati Tags: Steven King, Iowa, Republican, Party of Jesus, Gay Marriage, Civil Rights, Equal Rights, ACORN, Socialism, Stoopit

Not content to let South Carolina and Nevada scoop all of the Family Values headlines Party of Jesus California Assemblyman Mike Duvall went public with his support for the Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs in front of a live microphone back in July. Representing obscenely Republican Orange County the married California Assemblyman decided to rave about the hot sex he had with a pair of ladies in front of a live microphone. When it comes to preserving the Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs there is simply no organization that even comes close to the holy, righteous, sanctimonious Party of Jesus!

Once the scandal hit the press his fellow Party of Jesus legislators turned on him as fast as they might be expected to vote against equal rights for homos.

It appears that one of the hot babes that Duvall was boning was a lobbyist representing a corporation whose business he was charged with regulating. Our guess is that you are just as surprised as we are that a Party of Jesus legislator would be fraternizing in intimate ways with a lobbyist representing a powerful corporation.

Family Values and the Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs are both registered trademarks of the Party of Jesus, a corporate political party officially sanctioned by the best Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy of them all. For some reason Assemblyman Mike Duvall seems to have resigned.

(story)

Technorati Tags: Party of Jesus, Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs, Family Values, Mike Duvall, Orange County, Republican

The Party of Jesus, through their holy leader Sarah Palin, has exposed the sooper seekrit plans of Barack Obama to impose mandatory death panels on anyone stupid enough to believe anything Sarah Palin has to say.

In a special reveal of Party of Jesus dogma, Sarah Palin has exposed the brutal plans of our known Negro leader to require anyone over the age of 85, or anyone registered as a Republican, to submit to panels that will decide if they meet the mandatory death requirements.

We were lucky enough to get a sneak peek at the Death Panel component of the new health care bill. See if you qualify for the mandatory death policy.

Anyone who is:

1. A Known, practicing Republican
2. Opposed to gay marriage
3. Owner of a small business
4. Fundamentalist Christian
5. Health insurance executive
6. Opposed to government bailouts

If you match only 1 of the criteria above you will be placed on the Death Panel Standby List. This list is only used if the other criteria fail to meet the Kenyan Terr’ist Negro Non-Citizen Leader’s minimum death quota. Odds are you might be OK.

If you match up with any 2 of the criteria listed above you will be required to appear before your local Democratic Party Death Panel. Bring you Last Will and Testament with you, and please select an undertaker before you appear for your interview.

Should you happen to match more than 2 of the criteria listed above you will be sent to a US naval base located in a warm climate, kept in a cell without legal representation, and forced to listen to Rush Limbaugh broadcasts 24/7. Suicide assistance councilors will be available.

Technorati Tags: Palin, Death Panels, Death Camps, Birthers, Kenya, sooper seekrit

The Party of Jesus suffered yet another defeat today when a woman that is not even Caucasian was confirmed by the US Senate as the next justice to serve on the US Supreme Court. I mean, she’s not even white!

These are lean days for the Party of Jesus as they are forced, over and over again, to suffer defeat at the hands of an enemy that does not even use homophobia or fear tactics to whip up support from dumbasses.

Even with their armies of Limbaugh-loving thugs that recently disrupted Democratic House members in their home districts the Rethuglicans still don’t seem able to win at anything except disruption and the fear of a queer planet.

But really, it’s bad enough that they had to stomach having another woman on the court, one that is not even a millionaire, but a Hispanic woman? It’s no wonder their hero Limpblob is fit to be tied. It’s almost enough to make you feel sorry for the tools of big business and the Jeebus industry, not quite, but almost. Ok, not at all.

Technorati Tags: Sotomayor, Supreme Court, Hispanic woman, Party of Jesus, Republican, Rethuglican, racism, Limbaugh

Party of Jesus Tennessee Senator Paul Stanley, a Family Values™ anti-gay paragon of Jeebus-brand virtue, who has crusaded to ban gay adoption of children and who once said in public “When you’re married, there’s a commitment there” has resigned his seat in the Tennessee Senate after being exposed as a typical Party of Jesus anti-gay, moralistic, scheming, deceitful, lying hypocrite as well as a victim of attempted blackmail.

We’ve lost count recently on the number of Party of Jesus elected officials who campaign on a holier than fags ticket and then get caught with their dipstick in someone else’s engine block.

If there is a lesson that can be learned from the dozens of Republican sex scandals it is certainly that the people who do the most preaching about other people’s sex lives are the ones who are desperate to conceal something about themselves.

The holier than thou attitude of Party of Jesus fraudsters is really wearing thin among the voters. Even the most gullible of voters, sometimes called Christians, are beginning to realize that there is a clear dichotomy between what Party of Jesus legislators say everyone else should do and what they do themselves.

Stanley had been subjected to blackmail and extortion, and he did contact the police who witnessed a $10,000 payoff made in the darkness of a Tennessee back alley. Although the would-be extortionist was arrested in April of this year, the Party of Jesus holier than thou politician managed to keep the story out of the press until now.

As the Party of Jesus continues digging it’s grave we’ll be happy to stand by with refreshments to revitalize them in their efforts to expose their own deceit. Of course there will still be some voters who support the Party of Jesus because they wish to protect the Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs. We’re sure that Paul Stanley is so very much morally superior to the gay couples he has demonized in the past.

Party of Jesus Family Values politicians, it would seem, are even sleazier than your garden variety heathen politicians.

Let’s all pray for Party of Jesus Tennessee Senator Paul Stanley, after all, nothing fails like prayer.

Technorati Tags: Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs, Party of Jesus, Tennessee, Senator Paul Stanley, Family Values, Hypocrisy, anti-gay, moralistic, scheming, deceitful, lying, hypocrite, Republican, wingnut, holier than fags

Recently the obviously insane Oklahoma Party of Jesus legislator Sally Kern sponsored a bigotry is morality proclamation, and in the process tried her dumbass darnedest to make it look like the official policy of the State of Oklahoma.

Being, as they are, pre-selected for extreme gullibility and the fervent desire to grant belief in the absence of evidence, the co-bigots who produce the Baptist Messenger jumped on the bandwagon and published Kern’s memo, which as usual blames Teh Gays for every problem in the known universe, and they published it with the Great Seal of the State of Oklahoma, also making it appear, falsely, that the Governor and the Oklahoma Secretary of State had signed the Kern creed of bigotry and Jeebus-brand intolerance. In fact Governor Brad Henry and Secretary of State Susan Savage are decent human beings with no interest in promoting bigotry and intolerance, and they had nothing to do with this Party of Jesus dogma.

Now the Baptist fundietards have been forced to issue a formal apology for their falsehood.

“In the July 16 Messenger, the graphic representation of the Oklahoma Citizen’s Proclamation for Morality was misleading, indicating that Oklahoma Gov. Brad Henry and Secretary of State Susan Savage had signed the document. This is not the case, and the Messenger staff apologizes for the oversight and error.”

(story)

If they were not fundietards driven by a desperate need to be holier than somebody the Baptists might be able to learn from this experience and avoid Sally Kern in the future like the plague of stoopit that she is, but bigots of a feather do flock together. No doubt Oklahoma will provide us with more proof of the Sanctity of Stupidity fairly soon. Of course there are many decent, rational, educated people in Oklahoma too, like the Governor and the Secretary of State.

Technorati Tags: Sally Kern, Party of Jesus, Bigotry, Oklahoma, Baptist Messenger, Homophobia, Intolerance, Baptists, Apology, Brad Henry, Secretary of State Susan Savage, Fundietards, stoopit, Sanctity of Stupidity