Party of Jesus

Technorati Tags: Gay marriage, proposition 22, california supreme court, equal rights, gay couples, same sex couples. Jesus, loser

The will of the people was once again given voice yesterday during a special election in one of the reddest red states in Jesusland, Mississippi. The voters had one question for the political - religious group that brought us a war of imperialist aggression based on a pack of lies and the worst recession in decades. The question is: Can you hear me now?

How many times must we have massive slaughters of Party of Jesus candidates before the message starts to sink in, get the fuck out of Iraq NOW and start spending tax money at home. Get it? Can you hear me now?

There will certainly be another massive flood of red-candidate blood clogging the sewers in Washington come November. If they still can’t hear us then it may become necessary for the voters to bring about the extinction of the Party of Jesus. Even dyed in the wool Fundamentalists are turning away from the PoJ. Soon they will have no more friends than any other prostitute working the streets for war profits.

Running Senator McBush for a 3rd War President term is not helping their cause.

Hello? Party of Jesus? Can you hear me now?

Technorati Tags: Mississippi, red state, special election, Party of Jesus, Jesusland, Republican, her me now?, slaughter, war of imperialist aggression, Iraq, pack of lies

A proposed Constitutional Amendment to preserve the Sanctity of Bigotry in Pennsylvania has been defeated by a Demoncratic leader in the State House who is known for his failure to meet the minimum homophobia levels that are required for the Party of Jesus legislators over on the intolerance side of the aisle.

While gays still can not marry each other in Pennsylvania, the marriage between intolerant Christians and the Party of Jesus continues to flourish. Following the role model created by Jesus, the Party of Jesus constantly condemns homosexuals and whips up hatred and resentment against them by repeating slanders and preposterous lies.

Of course wherever there is a chance to enshrine intolerance into law, the Holy Roman Child Rape Church will be right there, cheering on the hatred. Pay no attention to that Priest in the corner with a 12 year old. Monogamous gay adult couples are the real threat to society.

Bishop David Zubik of the Catholic Diocese of Pittsburgh also defended the proposal, saying he attended the hearing to testify on behalf of marriage as one of humanity’s oldest institutions and that married people formed “the very backbone of society.”

In Pennsylvania, as in many other parts of this nation, there is a clear divide between the Party of Jesus candidates, who are all at least part-time gay bashers, and the Demoncrat candidates, who gay bash less frequently, but still tell enough lies about gay people to look like good Christians.

After 8 years of using the Fear of a Queer Planet to win elections, the Party of Jesus is beginning to see dwindling returns. Certainly the 80 year old knee-jerk reactionary homophobe block is still firmly PoJ aligned, but voters get older, and new voters join the pool as time goes on.

Survey after survey continue to show that there is a correlation between intolerance of sexual orientation minorities and age. Older Americans tend to be less tolerant, younger Americans tend to be more tolerant. So the number of voters who are turned off by the constant non-stop, relentless, spiteful lies told by Party of Jesus legislators can be expected to rise over time.

Pennsylvania is not the first state where the Party of Jesus has failed to get a Pro-Intolerance ballot measure into the Constitution, but with former Senator Rick Santorum famous as one of the most stark raving mad homophobes ever found north of the Mason-Dixon line, the Party of Jesus had held high hopes for this latest effort to preserve the Sanctity of Bigotry.

This loss for the Holy Haters is a harbinger of things to come. As they were in 2006, the Party of Jesus will be startled at the massive rejection of their Blood for Oil, Freedom Just for Homphobes agenda. America does not want pious homophobic hatred anymore, they want some new type of Holy Hatred. Have you heard about the illegal terr’ist immigrant job stealing welfare Mexican issue? We can hate them and be holy.

If you wish to help promote lies, slander, intolerance, and ignorance there is still time to register as a Party of Jesus voter before the general election.

Technorati Tags: PA Legislature, constitutional amendment, sanctity of bigotry, Fear of a Queer Planet, Holy Roman Child Rape Church, Anti-gay, intolerance, party of jesus, bigotry, Republican Party, anti-gay amendment, Rick Santorum, Bishop David Zubik,

With the joyous celebration of the Party of Jesus National Convention not far in the future now, most have concluded that Senator McBush, a strong supporter of our faith-based invasion of Iraq based on a pack of lies, is the certain and definite candidate.

There will be much to celebrate this year. The bulk of the wealth in the country has now been transferred from the poor, who are known to squander their money on things like food and shelter, over to the filthy rich billionaires who vote Party of Jesus and manufacture our Christian weapons of mass destruction.

And in the Middle East our successes continue to multiply, each victory virtually assuring the next. Over a million Iraqi’s are no longer effective as terr’ists, since they are now dead. Shame about the straight to hell part. It’s a good thing we killed them before they could use all of those manned and unmanned aerial vehicles.

And the war itself is producing huge profits in San Diego as it blossoms and brings forth the true fruit of our efforts in Iraq. The Mission continues to have been accomplished over 5 years ago, and only thousands of US soldiers have been killed since our stunning victory in 2003.

All of Saddam’s nukular weapons were found exactly where Colin Powell said they were in his fact-filled presentation at the UN. It’s no wonder, since Colin Powell would never lie, let alone participate in a conspiracy to start a war of imperialist aggression based on a pack of lies, for example:

Saddam Hussein has held numerous meetings with Iraqi nukular scientists, a group he calls his “nukular mujahideen” — his nukular holy warriors. (Our Glorious Christian Leader)

Fortunately US troops were able to locate all 4,631 of Saddam’s nukular weapons, most of which he had hidden in the baby bottles of Iraqi infants. We also recovered 8,063 of his manned and unmanned aerial vehicles, some of which had a 30″ wingspan and were capable of flying 5,000 miles on an ounce of Satanic Iraqi oil.

But really the best part of our glorious war effort is the millions of Iraqi citizens who have embraced Jesus as their personal savior and adopted lives of peace, inspired by the example of Our Glorious Christian Leader and his efforts to spread God’s Love and depleted uranium munitions throughout the world.

So the Party of Jesus has a solid record of success, no doubt assisted by the most powerful deity in the universe, and their reputation for truth telling and factual accuracy is completely unimpeachable.

Many Iraqi citizens, formerly subject to torture by a brutal regime, are now free to enjoy democratically applied torture, a vast improvement in both style and technique. Nobody in Iraq need worry that they will be denied access to torture or false imprisonment because of their race, nationality, or political affiliation.

But what is up lately with Senator McBush? It seems he accidentally let loose something I thought we were not going to talk about IN PUBLIC! I’m certain that no executives from Shell, Mobil, or any other patriotic war profiteering oil company gave him permission to say that we went to Iraq for oil! If Senator McBush is suffering from some sort of a weird honesty compulsion maybe he is not suitable to run the world’s largest corporate government. So the Party of Jesus could be forced to reveal the real power behind the world’s most successful war machine, and just run Jesus directly for President. I mean, talk about patriotic, he already died on the cross once to preserve the American way of life, so he is obviously not some kind of a Demoncrat.

I say cut to the chase, put Patriotic Jesus on the ticket.

Technorati Tags: Senator McBush, war for oil, imperialist invasion, pack of lies, Jesus, Patriotic Jesus, Demoncrats, Saddam Hussein, Iraq, manned and unmanned aerial vehicles, nukular weapons, Party of Jesus, Our Glorious Christian Leader, war crimes

It was 5 years ago today that Our Glorious Christian Leader announced our total victory in Iraq.  
Despite the dangers in the Pacific ocean just a few miles off the US coast, Our Glorious Christian Leader boldly flew in a fighter jet, landed on a carrier, and pronounced his unfettered and nearly delirious joy at our total victory over the people that had the nerve to live in their own country.

And remember, whatever we said was the reason to invade this nearly unarmed country, once it is exposed as a pack of lies sold to the sheeple by a conspiring gang of warmongering liars, that was not the real reason.

Prolly we invaded Iraq because Saddam was torturing his people. Everybody knows that any national leader that authorizes torture must be deposed and tried for war crimes. Torturing people is illegal, immoral, unethical, disgraceful and a waste of time. But punishing people for ordering torture is really cool.

We feel certain that Our Glorious Christian Leader, who invaded Iraq because Saddam was torturing people, is strongly opposed to torture because it is immoral, unethical and illegal. That is why he was so excited 5 years ago today when he announced our total victory. I’m sure Jesus is very proud, because Our Glorious Christian Leader not only won the war, he also stamped out torture.

Thank goodness for Christian leaders!

Technorati Tags: Our Glorious Christian Leader, fucking moron, total asswipe, retarded Fundie, lying bastard, torture aficionado, torture time, mission accomplished, war crimes trial, war crimes tribunal, life in prison, Bush lies children die

In a bold departure from official Party of Jesus dogma, California Governator Schwarzenegger has stated his opposition to a proposed California constitutional amendment that would preserve the sanctity of bigotry. Usually Party of Jesus operatives exploit gay civil rights as a wedge issue and draw out the Jeebus Votin’ Joe 6 Pack ‘phobe contingent. Experts estimate that up to 40% of Alabama voters fit this category, but the Governator is in notoriously sinful California.

The Governator was speaking to a comedy touring group with members that pretend to be simultaneously both Republican and gay, the group is known as the Log Cabin Republicans.

“I will always be there to fight against that,” the governor said to thunderous applause at the convention of the Log Cabin Republicans, a national gay Republican organization.

It must be noted that he was addressing a group of possibly gay men in denial about the Party of Jesus policy of exploiting gay issues for political gain, or participating in it for money. Had he been speaking to a group of former Mike Huckleberrybee supporters perhaps a diferent tune might have been sung.

Still, non-aggression from the Governator is at least a distinct improvement for queer Californians.

A group of Party of Jesus millionaire TV evangelists has issued an ultimatum to Senator McBush not to choose former Massachusetts governor Mitt of the Magic Underwear Romney as his Vice Presidential candidate or else they will aim their armies of attack drones for Jesus directly at Senator McBush. The very wealthy coalition of Jesus-industry professionals acted in an effort to prevent a Mor[m]on from becoming one very old man’s heart attack away from the Presidency.

If the Party of Jesus picks Romney we could see Christians attacking the most Jesus candidate in the race. Certainly neither Barack or Hillary is anywhere near as Jesus as Senator McBush is, just by being the de facto Party of Jesus candidate McBush gets 300 extra lives, 1,000 Jesus points, and a photo of the Pope in his most expensive pair of Prada shoes. In addition, once the convention finalizes the nomination, Senator McBush stands to gain an autographed copy of the late Jerry Falwell (still dead!) rubbing suntan oil into the beefy shoulders of a semi-nude Pat Robertson in their secret Key West love nest.

But with the corporate leaders from the Jeebus industry breathing down his neck, Senator McBush has to be careful not to lose any Jesus points by picking the wrong nutter. Imagine, McBush dies and a real, honest, actual theocratic fascist nutter becomes President. Look what the one we have now has done.

Praise Him!

This YouTube Video is a response to Oklahoma Rep Sally Kern from a professional homosexual recruiter.

Technorati Tags: Sally Kern, Republican Hate Speech, YouTube Response, Party of Jesus, homophobia, gay agenda, homosexual, homosexuals, gay bashing

Party of Jesus Oklahoma State Representative Sally Kern has produced a new article of faith to be added to the Book of National Security, Chapter 4, verse 17.
“For She went out among them, the Party of Jesus Faithful, and said unto them that teh gays were a bigger threat than terr’ists” is just what it shall say some day in a future Party of Jesus Holy History Book that documents the desperate struggle against creeping social tolerance in our times.

Representative Kern has done a remarkable job of condensing and coalescing the very essence of Party of Jesus theology. Her presentation represents exactly what the Party of Jesus stands for, the Holy Trinity of

• Fear Mongering
• Pious Posturing
• Appeals to Bigotry

As anyone can see, Representative Kern has scored on all three points of the Holy Trinity of Party of Jesus dogma. She used fear mongering when she correctly identified homosexuality as the most grave threat to the United States of America and the Bible for which it stands. Her pious posturing was nearly textbook perfect, because she spread hatred and intolerance which was coated with a light batter of Jesus. And what better way to appeal to bigotry than to attack a guaranteed minority that so many are predisposed to fear.

We predict a long and prosperous career for Oklahoma State Representative Kern, may she rise like a falling star!

Technorati Tags: Party of Jesus, Sally Kern, homophobia, gay threat, gays are terrorists, terr’ist, terr’ists, terr’ism, Jebus, Jeebus, intolerance

Well, I guess we won’t have Mike Huckleberrybee to kick around anymore.

I wonder if I’ll miss having a wacked out creationist fundamentalist ‘phobe candidate vying for the Party of Jesus nomination. Hmmm. I think I’ll be OK.

Imagine though, the horrible outcome for the TV Evangelist faction of the Party of Jesus, every single one of their Jeebus-rich candidates was rejected handily by the few remaining voters willing to be labeled as Rethuglicans. The Party of Jesus is being taken over by non-Fundamentalist interests. Senator John McBush hardly ever says Family Values, and you can’t even tell whether or not he hates fags.

I think the TV Evangelist faction would have loved Huckleberrybee, because when he gave voice to intolerance he really meant it. With McBush you wonder if he is just promoting bigotry to get more Rethuglican votes.

I think I will miss making fun of Huckleberrybee.

Technorati Tags: Mike Huckabee, Party of Jesus, Huckleberrybee, Republican, Rethuglican