Party of Jesus

After years of patiently explaining to a befuddled nation that Family Values® means God Hates Fags, the Party of Jesus has recently introduced a brand new definition for Family Values, now it means conducting an extra-marital affair.

Take the recent case of South Carolina Governor Sanford, a rising star in the sinking party, who last weekend celebrated Father's Day by ignoring his wife and 4 children to go hang out with his ho in Argentina. Governor Sanford was demonstrating his Party of Jesus Family Values by cheating on his wife and ignoring his young children on a day all about Fatherhood. We appreciate his sacrifice on behalf of the Party of Jesus, a leading provider of moral leadership.

Then of course there was the case just last week of US Senator Ensign (NV-PoJ) who announced from his piety control center in Las Vegas that he too had been practicing genuine Party of Jesus brand Family Values by cheating on his wife while simultaneously cuckolding one of his own male employees, since both the good Senator and his ho were cheating on their own spouses this raises the Piety Points received according to standard Party of Jesus sanctity preservation scoring rules.

If you are a member of the Party of Jesus, or you hope they will let you join, be sure to cheat on your spouse and then embarrass her in front of millions of people with your Party of Jesus public confession.

Help preserve the Sanctity of Extramarital Affairs, vote Party of Jesus!

Chances are God still hates fags though, so if you are gay, no worries.

Technorati Tags: Party of Jesus, Governor Sanford, Senator Ensign, marital affairs, Sanctity of Cheating, Sanctity of Extramarital Affairs, Hypocrisy, Republicans, God Hates Fags

Former US Secretary of State and Iraq War Salesman Colin Powell has gone on the attack against the racist, sexist, obese drug addict Rush Limpblob and former Vice President Darth Evil.

Mr. Powell, once a highly respected man before he joined the conspiracy to persuade the American people to support a war of aggression based on a pack of lies, seems intent on regaining some of his former status as a moderate, thoughtful and patriotic man. Limpblob and Evil are intent on maintaining the insanely jingoistic, militaristic, and xenophobic characteristics that became so deeply ingrained in the Party of Jesus during the 8 year reign of a Jesus-loving gang of war criminals.

As long as racist, hate mongering drug addicts and immensely evil war criminals continue as the public political face of Jesus in America rational and decent citizens will continue to flee the Party of Jesus in droves. So let's all hope that Limpblob and Evil continue as the official spokespersons for war crimes, illegal wars, violations of international law and other official Party of Jesus policies.

Of course we do not mind if Republicans pray for a resurgence of their party, since nothing fails like prayer.

Technorati Tags: Cheney, Powell, Colin Powell, Limbaugh, Evil, Republican, Torture, war crimes, Jesus

The nominal head of the Republican National Committee (no, not the obese drug addict) Michael Steele has gone on record as questioning whether or not famously Mor[m]on Mitt Romney is sufficiently intolerant to be a Party of Jesus leader.

While filling in as the host of a conservative talk show, Mr. Steele suggested that American voters had questioned Mitt's commitment to preventing women from having control over their own bodies. Of course you can't really get more Jeebus-brand intolerant than being a Mor[m]on, but still, whenever one member of the Party of Jesus wishes to score points against another Party of Jesus figure the easiest attack vector is to accuse your opponent of displaying tolerance for the civil rights of women or gays.

Nobody who has looked at the record of Mor[m]on Mitt as Governor of Massachusetts could doubt how much he opposes equal rights for gay people. He constantly whined, cried, and made empty threats about stopping gay marriage in the first US State where it became legal. Certainly Mitt hates equal justice under the law, he is just ineffective at stopping it.

Still, it is very nice to see Party of Jesus operatives attacking each other in public, it sort of makes you want to buy a season pass.

Technorati Tags: Michael Steele, Mitt Romney, Mor[m]on, abortion, gay rights, Massachusetts, Party of Jesus, Republican party

About 20 years ago the Republican Party entered into the sacrament of Holy Marriage with the Religious Right, it was at this time that they became, for all practical purposes, the Party of Jesus. Today a very high percentage of elected Party of Jesus legislators are actively Bible thumping idiots, for example Sally Kern in Oklahoma and Michele Bachmann in Minnesota. These people are so completely driven by their Jeebus-brand Sanctity of Bigotry that they do not even realize how obvious is their insanity to rational, normal people.

More and more, as issues relating to civil rights and immigration are splashed across the headlines, the ultra-right wing loonies in the Party of Jesus open their mouths and destroy even more of the tiny bit of credibility still maintained by their wingnut political organization.

Of course the real, actual agenda of the Party of Jesus has always been to steal from the poor and give to the rich. Back, oh so many years ago, when they entered into a sacred union with the fundietards of America, the billionaires who actually run the party figured it would be great to sucker in a bunch of religious bigots who had already demonstrated their high degree of gullibility by ordering their lives around an ancient book of scrolls from a warring, genocidal, primitive middle-eastern tribe.

Time after time mega-rich Party of Jesus candidates have spooned out the bigotry during their campaigns, but failed to deliver the fag crushing blows they promised once they were elected. These are the original Republicans, the billionaires and the tools of the billionaires.

What the über-greedy, wealthy, traditional Republicans failed to anticipate was the way the bigots for Jeebus would infiltrate their organization and force it to become a political group of the bigots, by the bigots, and for the Holy Bigot Warriors of Jeebus.

Now we have a situation where it has become perfectly obvious to the rational majority of Americans that the Party of Jesus is really the Party of Nutjobs. And so, we believe, it is the end result of the marriage between billionaire manipulators and bigoted fools that has brought the Party of Jesus to its present day crisis. Perhaps they are reaping as they have sown.

Technorati Tags: Sally Kern, Michele Bachmann, Party of Jesus, Sanctity of Bigotry, Billionaires, wingnuts, bigotry, Jesus

During debate on a bill that would make hate crimes out of violence against gays based on Jeebus-based bigotry like the kind the Party of Jesus peddles at every opportunity, North Carolina Congresswoman Virginia Foxx said out loud that Matthew Shepard was not killed because he was gay.

While Matthew's mother Judy sat in the audience observing the debate in the US House of Representatives, the pious, faithful, Jeebus-loving Republican asserted that statements to the effect Matthew Shepard was killed as part of a gay bashing were a hoax.

She sure has got Teh Jeebus! What could be more pious than completely denying reality?

Technorati Tags: jeebus, Republican, denial, homophobia, matthew shepard, Judy Shepard, Republican lies

Five members of the US Congress were arrested at a demonstration in Washington DC outside the Sudanese Embassy. All of the congresspersons arrested were members of the Democratic party. (source)

You might wonder why it is that all of the congressional protesters arrested were Democrats while none of them belonged to the Party of Jesus.

We hope this blog post will help you to understand why none of the members of Congress arrested outside the Sudanese Embassy were members of the Party of Jesus.

Consider these facts:

1. The Holy Bible, an integral part of the Party of Jesus national political agenda, is full of examples of campaigns of genocide that were not only sanctioned by their Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy, but were specifically ordered by Him
2. Genocide in African nations does not raise taxes on billionaires, so there is no threat to the holiest of all Party of Jesus voters
3. The genocide in Darfur is part of a campaign of military activity, the default position of the Party of Jesus is always in favor of killing foreigners in their own country
4. The people being killed in Darfur are not wealthy Christian white people

Technorati Tags: Party of Jesus, Darfur, Sudan, Sudanese Embassy, Keith Ellison, Jim McGovern, John Lewis, Donna Edwards, Lynn Woolsey, genocide, racism, Republican Party, WWJK

Reality continues its relentless campaign of conflict with nearly everything that batshit crazy Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachman (Party of Jesus) says. Among her most recent pearls of Republican dogmatic anti-wisdom are such absolute ungems as:

• This country is running out of rich people (perhaps because of poor Party of Jesus vote counts?)
• ACORN is under federal indictment for voter fraud, the stimulus bill nevertheless gives ACORN $5 billion. (In the world of objective reality, ACORN is not under federal indictment and is not mentioned in the stimulus bill at all.)
• Many members of Congress have a real aversion to capitalism. (probably they are all Demoncrats)
• the stimulus bill includes a measure to create a "rationing board" for health care, and after the bill becomes law, "your doctor will no longer be able to make your healthcare decisions with you." (Doctors are often able to treat paranoia these days)

Truly the Party of Jesus has now fully completed its transition into the party of Fundamentalist Nutjobs for Jeebus.

Technorati Tags: Michele Bachmann, Batshit Crazy, Party of Jesus, wingnut, paranoia, Republican, Minnesota

Iowa Party of Jesus candidate for Governor Bob Vander Plaats has pledged to prevent equal rights for all citizens, if he is elected to represent Jesus in the state.

At a rally which God clearly condemned, based on the heavy rain He sent, Vander Plaats laid down his faith-based demands in front of the current Governor. "I don't want to wait two years," said Vander Plaats. "I want this governor to issue an executive order that says there will be a stay on all same-sex marriages until the people of Iowa have the right to vote. If I were governor today, I would issue that executive order immediately."

It may come as a surprise to the would be official representative of America's most popular fairy tale character, but the people of Iowa already do have the right to vote. And they already have not enshrined Mr Vander Plaats brand of Jeebus-based holy bigotry in their state constitution.

The Party of Jesus is synonymous, across every corner of this great land, with the Sanctity of Bigotry. Whenever the danger of equal rights breaking out for all citizens appears on the horizon, the Party of Jesus is there to whip up bias, homophobia, intolerance, and other religious policies. Through their blessed and devout fear mongering they demonstrate their fundamentalist commitment to intolerance. What remains to be seen is to what extent the sacred faith-based bigotry of piously posing petulant prejudiced persons like Bob Vander Plaats reflects the will of the good and decent people of Iowa, and not just the Christians. There are hundreds of thousands of people in Iowa, wait make that millions, who support the concept of equal justice for all. Christianity is on the decline.

Technorati Tags: Bob Vander Plaats, iowa, gay marriage, same sex marriage, gay rights, equal rights, Sanctity of Bigotry, Christianity, fear mongering, prejudice, homophobia, religion, intolerance, theism, Jesus, fairy tales

Only days after Iowa became the 3rd US State to sanction equal rights for all citizens, the all powerful creator of the Universe and his son with the holes in his hands suffered another major setback when the Vermont legislature overrode the veto of their Party of Jesus Governor, making Vermont the 4th state in The Union to treat all citizens with equal justice under the law.

As a Party of Jesus politician, Governor Jim Douglas was duty bound to support bigotry wearing a pretty ancient superstition dress. The Party of Jesus is all but owned and operated by the right wing, hate mongering extremists among those Americans who self identify as Christians. They fail to realize, it would seem, that a very large percentage of persons who call themselves Christian are in favor of equal justice under the law for all people.

This is the first time that a state legislature has overruled a Governor who chose bigotry, intolerance, and ridiculous ancient superstitions as opposed to fair play. There are many states in our great nation that suffer from having a Party of Jesus Governor, we suspect that Vermont may not always be the only state where decent, rational, fair minded legislators overrule a Party of Jesus politician.

As for the Party of Jesus, Nelson Muntz says it best. It is through their own faith-based bigotry that they are sealing their own demise. And it is a very well deserved demise too.

Technorati Tags: Vermont, gay marriage, same sex marriage, equal=equal, justice, Party of Jesus, Jim Douglas, veto, override, Rep. Jeff Young, Representative Margaret Cheney, Iowa Supreme Court

A duel of sorts has broken out this week in the Colorado legislature as two Party of Jesus contestants vie with each other to make the most amazingly stupid yet stunningly vicious attacks on innocent Colorado citizens they are paid to represent. Our first contestant for Jeebus-brand asshole of the month is Colorado State Senator Scott Renfroe. For Scott's entry he went right to the most ludicrous and malicious lie he could imagine about gay people. Scott claimed on February 24th that voting in favor of giving spousal benefits to the partners of gay state employees would be like legalizing murder. Scott hopes his use of Party of Jesus hateful rhetoric against an unpopular minority will endear him to wealthy Caucasian Christian Fundamentalist bigots all over Colorado. At least he knows his constituency. Is he planning to run for higher office? He sure has mastered Jeebus-brand malicious lies!

Also vying for this months extreme hatred for Jeebus award is fellow Party of Jesus state senator Dave Schultheis. Dave decided to use the extreme opposite of compassion for his entry. Talking about innocent babies born to mothers infected with HIV, David showed his extensive knowledge of Jeebus' spiteful hatred when he suggested they should not approve HIV tests for pregnant women because their babies might not suffer if we did. Considering that Dave does belong to the Party of Jesus, perhaps he might be moved to a more compassionate stance if the bill under consideration included massive tax cuts for the very rich. Perhaps he is considering a move to the nation's capital? Dave definitely has got Teh Jeebus!

Seems like there are quite a few Christians in the Colorado state legislature. We're sure that Jeebus just loves their intolerance.

Technorati Tags: Colorado, State Senate, Republicans, Party of Jesus, God's Love, Compassion, Homophobia, HIV, pregnancy, HIV testing, murder, gays, hatred, intolerance, cruelty, state employees, partner benefits, Christianity, Jeebus