Party of Jesus

A long term Party of Jesus operative, Chip Saltsman, who handled the Presidential campaign of Governor Mike Huckleberrybee, has released a CD as campaign materials in his effort to become the new national chairman of the Party of Jesus.

The CD contains a musical track entitled Barack the Magic Negro that clearly and accurately represents and illuminates the true nature of Party of Jesus theology. Racism is just one of the many forms of intolerance that is cherished by the truly devout among the Party of Jesus faithful. Let’s not forget heterosexism, paternalism, homophobia and jingoism, the other pillars of Party of Jesus dogma.

In an effort to demonstrate his commitment to equal opportunity racism, the Party of Jesus candidate also included the song The Star Spanglish Banner, these tracks and others were created by an employee of the famous hate monger and moron Rush Limpblob.

It seems odd that the Party of Jesus would be trying to increase their recruitment among the bigot community, since every racist pig in the country already votes Jesus. Maybe Chip Saltsman has not noticed yet that the racist pigs he identifies as his constituency are outnumbered by decent citizens who vote on the basis of qualifications for office, not race or ethnic background. We suggest everybody chips in to get a bigger shovel for Chip, he truly does represent the core values of the Party of Jesus.

Technorati Tags: Barack the Magic Negro, Chip Saltsman, The Star Spanglish Banner, Mike Huckleberrybee, Party of Jesus, Republican National Committee, Rush Limpblob, racism, Republican Party, sexism, Republicans, homophobia, Jesus

Famous Party of Jesus Sexual Purity Tester and Anti-Blowjob campaigner Kenneth Starr has taken the starring role in the campaign to overturn my marriage, which obviously makes the Baby Jesus cry just as much as it would if I was a US President receiving oral sex in the Oval Office.

You may remember Starr from an earlier century in which he helped bring decency and morality back to the White House after we had suffered through 8 years of a President that did not order torture or invade foreign countries based on a pack of lies. His heroic and obsessive smear campaign against President Clinton endeared him forever in the hearts of witch hunt loving Fundamentalist Christians.

And now it is my turn to be the witch and enjoy the full slime and sleaze that will be sent my way from this devout Christian lawyer.

Starr has taken on the STARRing role in a new lawsuit brought by a coalition of Jesus-brand idiots to overturn my marriage and the marriages of about 18,000 other California same-sex couples. Of course it is obviously necessary for Starr to attack my Family’s Values since my marriage is harming him by

Technorati Tags: Kenneth Starr, Proposition H8, California, Same-sex Marriage, homophobia, idiotic religions, stupid religions, moronic religions, extremely stupid religions, ant-blowjob, sexual purity test

Jeebus.biz, a leading provider of religious ridicule merchandise, is proud to announce a brand new addition to their extensive collection of Jeebus-brand merchandise.

In response to California Ballot Proposition 8, also known as Proposition H8te, this graphic was designed by a gay man married to his gay partner in gay Palm Springs California. Jeebus is notequal to hate.

The new Jeebus ≠ H8te! design is now available on your choice of coasters, cutting boards, aprons, canvas tote bags, and a wide variety of men’s and women’s clothing styles. Yes, that’s right friends, Jeebus ≠ H8te.

If you have friends or relatives who are still suffering from ridiculous ancient religious delusions, why not get them a seasonally appropriate gift this holiday season. You can help remind your friends and relatives that their Imaginary Jewish Savior never once mentioned faggots in all of his make-believe years on Earth.

There are two primary reasons that Jeebus ≠ H8te, the first is the most obvious – there is no such creature. But, if you enter into the world of make believe and you accept myths like Tinkerbell and Jeebus, then it is important to remember that this made up character never once mentioned the dreaded Homosexual Agenda.

Buy lots of Jeebus stuff to give away this year, it’s a great way to promote the homosexual agenda!

Technorati Tags: Jeebus, Jesus, hate, homophobia, proposition 8, mormons, morons, Proposition h8te, california, constitution, gay rights, civil rights, same-sex marriage, same sex marriage, gay marriage, California election, ballot measure, ballot initiative, Focus on the family, Salt Lake City, protests

Today we learned that Caribou Barbie, the sexiest Governor in all of the 50 states, had difficulty during the recent Presidential campaign grasping the concept that Africa is a continent and not a specific nation. No, really, it is actually that dumb.

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For those readers who believe in an Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy, you can thank it that Senator McCain and Caribou Barbie lost, we had a very close call.

Technorati Tags: Sarah Palin, Caribou Barbie, McCain, Alaska, Africa, Capital

FemBush released some new, even more burning stoopit on the campaign trail this week when she began talking about America, pretending that only people dumb enough to buy into her Jeebus-brand stupidity are patriotic citizens.

“We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation.”

I’m so glad I was not there to witness this mind numbingly idiotic drivel. My head might have burst into flames from how hot the stoopit burns coming from this moron.

We’ve already tried having a blithering idiot for President, what makes anybody think that having one as Vice President would be any better?

I suppose FemBush meant that the Pro-America Americans are the ones that participate in faith-based knee jerk reactionary responses to hot button idiocy, like rumors that Obama is a terr’ist that she herself spawns. While it is true that there is one born every minute, they are not the only people coming into this world. There are some people in this country who are not pathetically ignorant and who can not see Russia from their home.

I’m counting on my non-idiotic fellow citizens to help make sure we do not get 4 more years of faith-based, corporate greed, hell with poor people Republican idiocy. Please people, just say NO to organized stupidity and calculated deceit.

Technorati Tags: FemBush, Palin, Pro-America, North Carolina, Campaign, Supidity, Republican, Deceit, Reactionary, Stoopit, Burns

At a recent devoutly Party of Jesus anti-gay hatefest convention sponsored by American Values and Focus Fascists of the Family Action, racist souvenir cartons of Obama Waffle mix were offered for sale. Party of Jesus clergyman Newt “Family Values” Gingrich, who had an extra-marital affair while hounding Bill Clinton for extra marital sex, and former Massachusetts Governor Mitt “Homophobia” Romney were speakers at this Party of Jesus convention celebrating holy intolerance and sacred anti-gay propaganda.

It is no longer socially acceptable to blatantly express racist bigotry in public in this country, this is why Party of Jesus candidates and religious hate groups cling so desperately to the Sanctity of Anti-Gay Bigotry. It’s still perfectly acceptable to slander gay people, lie about gay people, support ballot measures intended to harm gay people, and do other Jesus-approved nasty things to fags and dykes.

But maybe the wealthy, greedy, avaricious, Jesus-brand white guys at this recent hate convention went a tiny bit overboard with the Obama racist waffle mix. What do you think?

Technorati Tags: racism, Republican, bigotry, Christian, Focus on the Family, homophobia, anti-gay, slander, Obama, Aunt Jemima

One of the central tenets of Party of Jesus dogma is the fact that teh gays is bad people. After all, how can we have a culture war without bad people as enemies. The anti-gay dogma of the Party of Jesus is extremely important, far more important than some might imagine because it serves as a vital distraction from wars of imperialist aggression based on a pack of lies.

So it was perfectly within Party of Jesus political guidelines when Sarah Palin’s Jesus-brand church tried to have a very disturbing book banned from the public library. This is why Senator McBush is defending her.

The Rev. Howard Bess, a liberal Christian preacher in the nearby town of Palmer, said the church Palin and her family attended until 2002, the Wasilla Assembly of God, was pushing to remove his book [Pastor I am Gay] from local bookstores.

(link) (Book at Amazon)

It seems that this so-called pastor, who claims to be a Christian, had written a book criticizing Party of Jesus style homophobic diatribes and legislative campaigns to demonize, marginalize, victimize, and deny equal rights under the law to homosexuals. Yet this man claims to be a Christian! Naturally this book should be banned, it fails to include Party of Jesus dogma!

Obviously if the Party of Jesus were to let up on homophobic propaganda and anti-gay slander the voters might be distracted by less important issues, like the collapse of our economy, hundreds of millions of earmark dollars requested by Sarah Palin, enormous taxpayer funded tribute payments to profit bloated huge oil corporations, needless wars sold to an unsuspecting nation by a conspiracy to use a pack of lies to justify an illegal invasion, torture, illegal detention of prisoners, rendition, millions of homeowners being swindled by mortgage lenders, and other less important issues.

After all, Freedom of Speech and Freedom of the Press belong to the narrow minded Fundamentalist religious groups that seize control of the government. We would not want people visiting a public library to be able to just pick up and start reading any book they wanted to read.

Praise Him!

Technorati Tags: Sarah Palin, Party of Jesus, Pastor I Am Gay, Anne Kilkenny, Rev. Howard Bess, library, wasilla, book banning, bigotry, republican, homophobia, Fundamentalists, intolerance, Christianity, lies, scandal, McCain, McBush, McSame

The Governator of California (Party of Jesus) has taken a bold and dangerous move by publicly stating he thinks Californians should accept the recent Supreme Court ruling to allow gay and lesbian marriages. Going even further out on a limb, the world-famous Governator now runs the risk of being booted out of the Party of Jesus on his shiny metal ass by saying he will campaign against the Sanctity of Bigotry ballot initiative.
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This is major news, and it must almost certainly be the handwriting on the wall for the Sanctity of Bigotry in California. And, as is so often said, as goes California, so goes the nation. Take that Pat Robertson. Stick that in your pipe Lou Sheldon. And despite the fact that he is still dead, Jerry Falwell can sit on it too. The losers are finally losing, and equality is beginning to equal equality.

When a society collectively decides that all citizens should be guaranteed equal justice under the law, it is good for that society, not bad.

The Governator has been trying for years to steer the Party of Jesus in a more moderate, less Fundamentalist direction. He seems to prefer to not have any hate speech at all. If the Party of Jesus wants to win elections in the future, they need to think long and hard about maybe filing for a divorce from the Fundamentalists that have driven it so deep into despair and isolation.

Our congratulations and a heart-felt Thank You to the Governator for supporting equal rights for all Californians. May has been a very, very bad month for those who use Jeebus as an excuse for their intolerance. A real bad month. Gee, what a shame.

Technorati Tags: Governator, California, Gay Marriage, Schwarzenegger, equal rights, Sanctity of Bigotry

The dangerously delusional Fundamentalist pastor who has heartily endorsed Senator John McBush for the 3rd Bush term as President has indicated his faith-based belief that Jeebus sent Adolph Hitler to perform his horrific crimes against humanity so that the Jewish people would be forced to return to the geographic area of Israel. Just leave it to Jeebus to set up the genocidal slaughter of 6 million innocent people just because he can’t afford the airfare to Tel Aviv.

This is the same professional nutter that said Jeebus sent Hurricane Katrina as punishment for a scheduled gay pride parade in New Orleans. Obviously this very large bag of wasted protoplasm is completely out of touch with reality. Of course this poses no contradiction to his support of the Party of Jesus.

Senator McBush has stated that he sought an endorsement from this person, who is obviously out of touch with reality. And each time another horrific tale of idiotic utterances from this Fundamentalist pig hits the headlines, Senator McBush does not distance himself from the clinically insane. It seems that Senator McBush has got a wrap on the extreme right wing lunatic fringe Jeebus vote. Let’s just be glad that 99.9% of Christians are not nearly as batshit crazy as McBush’s pastor friend.

Technorati Tags: Hagee, Jeebus, Hitler, Israel, Jews, Katrina, Endorsement, Party of Jesus

Even before the Abu Ghraib torture multimedia circus broke, the FBI knew that Our Glorious Christian Leader was conducting illegal, immoral, unethical war crimes against prisoners in various concentration camps and torture facilities. Our faith-based moron President was not only well aware of these despicable crimes, he was the author of these policies.

Reports that Guantanamo detainees were being subjected to extreme temperatures, religious abuses and nude interrogation were conveyed at White House meetings of senior officials in 2003, yet these questionable tactics remained in use, a lengthy report by the Justice Department’s inspector general concluded.

One FBI report mentions that former US Attorney General John Ashcroft personally spoke about his concerns over this illegal, immoral, Party of Jesus torture dogma with Co-Conspirator Rice, a lady who helped bring you the trumped up and completely fictitious fear of Iraqi Nukular weapons to pre-justify these crimes.

Read more about the futile efforts of the FBI to try to get Our Glorious Christian Leader to stop the torture here, here, here, here, here, and here.

It is no longer sufficient to play word games, or to rely on make-believe legal opinions from known liars like Alberto “Torture Time” Gonzales. It is time to start putting criminals on trial. Maybe they could serve out their sentences in a quaint prison facility in Geneva. Or should we continue to protect the Party of Jesus Sanctity of Torture?

Technorati Tags: Torture, FBI, George Warcriminal Bush, Our Glorious Christian Leader, John Ashcroft, Alberto Torture Time Gonzales, war tribunals, geneva convention, concentration camps, Party of Jesus