Party of Jesus

The Party of Jesus, through their holy leader Sarah Palin, has exposed the sooper seekrit plans of Barack Obama to impose mandatory death panels on anyone stupid enough to believe anything Sarah Palin has to say.

In a special reveal of Party of Jesus dogma, Sarah Palin has exposed the brutal plans of our known Negro leader to require anyone over the age of 85, or anyone registered as a Republican, to submit to panels that will decide if they meet the mandatory death requirements.

We were lucky enough to get a sneak peek at the Death Panel component of the new health care bill. See if you qualify for the mandatory death policy.

Anyone who is:

1. A Known, practicing Republican
2. Opposed to gay marriage
3. Owner of a small business
4. Fundamentalist Christian
5. Health insurance executive
6. Opposed to government bailouts

If you match only 1 of the criteria above you will be placed on the Death Panel Standby List. This list is only used if the other criteria fail to meet the Kenyan Terr'ist Negro Non-Citizen Leader's minimum death quota. Odds are you might be OK.

If you match up with any 2 of the criteria listed above you will be required to appear before your local Democratic Party Death Panel. Bring you Last Will and Testament with you, and please select an undertaker before you appear for your interview.

Should you happen to match more than 2 of the criteria listed above you will be sent to a US naval base located in a warm climate, kept in a cell without legal representation, and forced to listen to Rush Limbaugh broadcasts 24/7. Suicide assistance councilors will be available.

Technorati Tags: Palin, Death Panels, Death Camps, Birthers, Kenya, sooper seekrit

Recently the obviously insane Oklahoma Party of Jesus legislator Sally Kern sponsored a bigotry is morality proclamation, and in the process tried her dumbass darnedest to make it look like the official policy of the State of Oklahoma.

Being, as they are, pre-selected for extreme gullibility and the fervent desire to grant belief in the absence of evidence, the co-bigots who produce the Baptist Messenger jumped on the bandwagon and published Kern's memo, which as usual blames Teh Gays for every problem in the known universe, and they published it with the Great Seal of the State of Oklahoma, also making it appear, falsely, that the Governor and the Oklahoma Secretary of State had signed the Kern creed of bigotry and Jeebus-brand intolerance. In fact Governor Brad Henry and Secretary of State Susan Savage are decent human beings with no interest in promoting bigotry and intolerance, and they had nothing to do with this Party of Jesus dogma.

Now the Baptist fundietards have been forced to issue a formal apology for their falsehood.

"In the July 16 Messenger, the graphic representation of the Oklahoma Citizen's Proclamation for Morality was misleading, indicating that Oklahoma Gov. Brad Henry and Secretary of State Susan Savage had signed the document. This is not the case, and the Messenger staff apologizes for the oversight and error."

(story)

If they were not fundietards driven by a desperate need to be holier than somebody the Baptists might be able to learn from this experience and avoid Sally Kern in the future like the plague of stoopit that she is, but bigots of a feather do flock together. No doubt Oklahoma will provide us with more proof of the Sanctity of Stupidity fairly soon. Of course there are many decent, rational, educated people in Oklahoma too, like the Governor and the Secretary of State.

Technorati Tags: Sally Kern, Party of Jesus, Bigotry, Oklahoma, Baptist Messenger, Homophobia, Intolerance, Baptists, Apology, Brad Henry, Secretary of State Susan Savage, Fundietards, stoopit, Sanctity of Stupidity

Iowa Party of Jesus candidate for Governor Bob Vander Plaats has pledged to prevent equal rights for all citizens, if he is elected to represent Jesus in the state.

At a rally which God clearly condemned, based on the heavy rain He sent, Vander Plaats laid down his faith-based demands in front of the current Governor. "I don't want to wait two years," said Vander Plaats. "I want this governor to issue an executive order that says there will be a stay on all same-sex marriages until the people of Iowa have the right to vote. If I were governor today, I would issue that executive order immediately."

It may come as a surprise to the would be official representative of America's most popular fairy tale character, but the people of Iowa already do have the right to vote. And they already have not enshrined Mr Vander Plaats brand of Jeebus-based holy bigotry in their state constitution.

The Party of Jesus is synonymous, across every corner of this great land, with the Sanctity of Bigotry. Whenever the danger of equal rights breaking out for all citizens appears on the horizon, the Party of Jesus is there to whip up bias, homophobia, intolerance, and other religious policies. Through their blessed and devout fear mongering they demonstrate their fundamentalist commitment to intolerance. What remains to be seen is to what extent the sacred faith-based bigotry of piously posing petulant prejudiced persons like Bob Vander Plaats reflects the will of the good and decent people of Iowa, and not just the Christians. There are hundreds of thousands of people in Iowa, wait make that millions, who support the concept of equal justice for all. Christianity is on the decline.

Technorati Tags: Bob Vander Plaats, iowa, gay marriage, same sex marriage, gay rights, equal rights, Sanctity of Bigotry, Christianity, fear mongering, prejudice, homophobia, religion, intolerance, theism, Jesus, fairy tales

The famously insane Oklahoma State Rep Sally Kern (Party of Jesus) (website) has announced at a conference sponsored by the John Birch Society that she has found a secret copy of the infamous Gay Agenda in a book based on a musical that was, in turn, based on a story by Oscar Wilde.

Kern said the agenda is in a book called “After the Ball,” by Marshall Kirk and Hunter Madsen, a book named after a musical adaptation of Oscar Wilde’s “Lady Windermere’s Fan.” She recounted the bullet points of a secret public relations campaign to have gays accepted by the general public — step by step — with the final goal being not just acceptance of gays by heterosexuals, but eventual triumph of homosexuality as a superior lifestyle.

Among the items in the agenda, Kern said, was getting the public to view homosexuality as a matter of taste, like a preference for strawberry or vanilla ice cream. She quoted the text: “The masses should not be shocked and repelled by premature exposure to homosexual behavior itself.”

“You know,” Kern said. “I’ve done a lot of reading on this. I wish I could describe to you their behavior. I will not because I would be redder than this suit. It’s their behavior that we oppose.

“This theme of equality and freedom is the approach that the homosexuals are using today — totally perverting the true intention of what our Constitution meant. … The homosexuals get it — it’s a struggle between our religious freedoms and their right to do what they want to do.”

Around the banquet hall, Kern’s speech met with applause and calls of “Amen!” from a crowd stoked in a crucible of conspiracy and intrigue. For the whole day, the “Clouds Over America” conference, run and organized by the John Birch Society, held lecture after lecture Jan. 23 and 24 dedicated to explaining their various conspiracy-laden tenets. Here’s one — that a godless secret society, the Illuminati, has been battling against the founding of the United States of America and decent citizens to live in peaceful, worshipful freedom.

(source)

With Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich pretty much out of the picture, and George Warcriminal Bush hiding in Texas from prosecutors, US comedians can use a present like the one delivered by the famously psychotic, gun-toting Kern.

Sally became famous quite some time ago when a speech of hers was posted on YouTube including utterly preposterous claims, including that gays "are recruiting 2 year olds". This prompted our own long ago YouTube response to Sally.

Technorati Tags: Sally Kern, Party of Jesus, Gay Agenda, recruiting 2 year olds, YouTube, John Birch Society, psychosis, homophobia, Lady Windermere’s Fan, Oscar Wilde, Oklahoma, Marshall Kirk, Hunter Madsen, Clouds Over America

Convicted Party of Jesus bathroom troll and Family Values supporter, former US Senator Larry Craig, has dropped his appeal to overturn his confessed guilt in a bathroom trolling incident at the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport.

The former Senator, who is not gay and never has been gay, previously plead guilty and signed paperwork admitting that he was guilty of activities in a now famous restroom that were interpreted as solicitation to engage in man to man sex. He is not gay. He never has been gay. He simply has a wide stance. And let's not forget that the former Senator has got teh family values too!

Mr Craig has become a celebrity, and he was even honored by the St Paul Saints baseball team with a Larry Craig Bobblefoot Day. The team said that it was a "tribute to all their toe-tapping friends and fans from around the nation who may ever have set foot in Minneapolis-St. Paul… even for just a change of planes." This is not to be confused with the Larry Craig Action Figure. In summary, former Senator Larry Craig was guilty when he said he was guilty, he was still guilty when he said he was not guilty and appealed his own admission of his own guilt, and now that he has dropped his I'm not guilty appeal to the Minnesota Supreme Court he is still guilty. And he is not gay. And he never has been gay. He just likes to provide oral service to strangers in public restrooms. Oh, and he has Party of Jesus brand Family Values too. Got it?

Technorati Tags: Family Values, Larry Craig, not gay, never has been gay, Wide Stance, Party of Jesus, guilty

A long term Party of Jesus operative, Chip Saltsman, who handled the Presidential campaign of Governor Mike Huckleberrybee, has released a CD as campaign materials in his effort to become the new national chairman of the Party of Jesus.

The CD contains a musical track entitled Barack the Magic Negro that clearly and accurately represents and illuminates the true nature of Party of Jesus theology. Racism is just one of the many forms of intolerance that is cherished by the truly devout among the Party of Jesus faithful. Let's not forget heterosexism, paternalism, homophobia and jingoism, the other pillars of Party of Jesus dogma.

In an effort to demonstrate his commitment to equal opportunity racism, the Party of Jesus candidate also included the song The Star Spanglish Banner, these tracks and others were created by an employee of the famous hate monger and moron Rush Limpblob.

It seems odd that the Party of Jesus would be trying to increase their recruitment among the bigot community, since every racist pig in the country already votes Jesus. Maybe Chip Saltsman has not noticed yet that the racist pigs he identifies as his constituency are outnumbered by decent citizens who vote on the basis of qualifications for office, not race or ethnic background. We suggest everybody chips in to get a bigger shovel for Chip, he truly does represent the core values of the Party of Jesus.

Technorati Tags: Barack the Magic Negro, Chip Saltsman, The Star Spanglish Banner, Mike Huckleberrybee, Party of Jesus, Republican National Committee, Rush Limpblob, racism, Republican Party, sexism, Republicans, homophobia, Jesus

Jeebus.biz, a leading provider of religious ridicule merchandise, is proud to announce a brand new addition to their extensive collection of Jeebus-brand merchandise.

In response to California Ballot Proposition 8, also known as Proposition H8te, this graphic was designed by a gay man married to his gay partner in gay Palm Springs California. Jeebus is notequal to hate.

The new Jeebus ≠ H8te! design is now available on your choice of coasters, cutting boards, aprons, canvas tote bags, and a wide variety of men's and women's clothing styles. Yes, that's right friends, Jeebus ≠ H8te.

If you have friends or relatives who are still suffering from ridiculous ancient religious delusions, why not get them a seasonally appropriate gift this holiday season. You can help remind your friends and relatives that their Imaginary Jewish Savior never once mentioned faggots in all of his make-believe years on Earth.

There are two primary reasons that Jeebus ≠ H8te, the first is the most obvious - there is no such creature. But, if you enter into the world of make believe and you accept myths like Tinkerbell and Jeebus, then it is important to remember that this made up character never once mentioned the dreaded Homosexual Agenda.

Buy lots of Jeebus stuff to give away this year, it's a great way to promote the homosexual agenda!

Technorati Tags: Jeebus, Jesus, hate, homophobia, proposition 8, mormons, morons, Proposition h8te, california, constitution, gay rights, civil rights, same-sex marriage, same sex marriage, gay marriage, California election, ballot measure, ballot initiative, Focus on the family, Salt Lake City, protests

A Jeebus loving supporter of California Proposition H8te, which would inject Jeebus-brand bigotry directly into the California Constitution has compared the equal rights for all citizens brought about by gay marriage to the rise of Nazi Germany. Listen to this Jeebus boy conflate fascism with equal rights for all citizens.

Jeebus uber alles!

Technorati Tags: fascism, christianity, bigotry, jesus, homophobia, religion, Proposition H8te, Prop 8, proposition 8, equal rights, civil rights, hitler, nazi, church

Bigots from an umbrella group of Jeebus-based homophobes promoting anti-gay bigotry in California, have sent threatening letters to a list of corporations that have donated to groups promoting equal rights for all citizens, demanding money or else they will be exposed as being opposed to Jeebus-based bigotry.

The Christian homophobes at ProtectMarriage.com identified corporations such as Pacific Gas & Electric, Levi Strauss and AT&T that have contributed to Equality California and they are demanding that they receive equal funding or else Jeebus will get very upset, and as official representatives of Jeebus the bigots will expose them for their shameful lack of bigotry.

“Make a donation of a like amount to ProtectMarriage.com which will help us correct this error,” reads the letter. “Were you to elect not to donate comparably, it would be a clear indication that you are in opposition to traditional marriage. … The names of any companies and organizations that choose not to donate in like manner to ProtectMarriage.com but have given to Equality California will be published.”

(link)

Of course the pending defeat of their homophobic trash amendment will do nothing to calm these hate-obsessed bigots. They will continue to imagine and falsely claim that Jeebus is on their side.

So, who do you think Jeebus would extort, if there was a Jeebus?

PS: Get your official Jeebus merchandise at Jeebus.biz, it's a pro-homo website!

Technorati Tags: Jeebus, ProtectMarriage.com, extortion, threats, bigotry, Christianity, homophobia, Sanctity of Bigotry, No on 8, Proposition 8, California, Constitutional Amendment, civil rights, equal rights, Levis, AT&T, Pacific Gas and Electric

Expressing her fervent belief in an Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy who is a Patriotic American Republican Saviour, uber-moron Sarah Palin announced today that she is "putting this in God's hands, that the right thing for America will be done at the end of the day on Nov. 4."

Does this mean that the idiot is going to shut up now? Or will she keep exposing the idiocy of the Fundamentalist base of the Party of Jesus for whom she is a pinup gal?

Calling for a US Constitutional Amendment to ban gay marriage, an event as likely to happen as her getting a clue, she predicted that Senator McBush would do Jeebus' will if the election results could be manipulated a la Florida and Ohio.

Speaking with James Dobson of Fascists for the Fatherland Family, Sarah was upbeat about predictions of an impending ass whoopin' for the Rethuglicans.

Palin thanked Dobson and supporters for their prayers and — when Dobson inquired about the importance of faith in her life — said: "It is my foundation, yes, my Christian faith is."
She also used terms like "prayer warrior" and "intercession" — words that might be unknown to the average listener but are common vocabulary in Pentecostal Christianity. Palin spent 20 years in a Pentecostal Assemblies of God Church, but she usually refers to her faith generically as Christian, not even evangelical.

Keep praying Sarah, because if there is one fact known for sure about your religious delusions, it is that nothing fails like prayer.

Technorati Tags: Palin, Prayer, Failure, Jeebus, Dobson, Homophobia, Christianity, Bigotry, Faith, Stupidity, repunblican