Party of Jesus

For $150,000 You Can Put Lipstick on a Moron, But…

October 22nd, 2008

For 150,000 Dolars You Can Put Lipstick on a MoronToday we learned that for the small sum of $150,000 dollars you can put lipstick on a moron, unfortunately she will still be so stupid that a third grader can stump her.

It seems that the campaign staff of Arizona Senator and Presidential candidate John McBush spent at least $150,000 for clothing and fashion accessories for the entire moose hunting, Alaska secessionist, out of wedlock teenage mother family of Sarah "FemBush" Palin. After all that money she is still an idiot.

After the Party of Jesus goes down like a lead balloon in less than 2 more weeks, do you suppose Sarah will ask if she can still keep the clothes? (story)

Someone should ask Senator McBush about this so that he will have a chance to say something stupid.

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Our Glorious Christian Leader Vetoes Child Care Again

December 12th, 2007

Our Glorious Christian Leader has once again demonstrated his faith-based conservative compassion by using his veto power to crush a new law that would have increased funding for those annoying poor and middle class children. Since it is his God-given assignment to protect the income of wealthy Party of Jesus contributing multimillionaires and war profiteering Republican run corporations.
Our Glorious Christian Leader
These darn poor kids hardly ever grow up to vote Party of Jesus, and if they were not so darn poor they would not need this government program, so any devout Party of Jesus faithful person can see it is their fault for being poor.

Besides, a year of this increased medical care for mere children would cost as much as a week of The People's Glorious War in Iraq - another faith-based initiative of Our Glorious Christian Leader. So it is easy to see that spending our grandchildren's taxes on killing foreigners in their own country is a much better way of funneling taxes to the makers of red-blooded American Weapons of Mass Destruction.

It is no wonder Our Glorious Christian Leader decided to veto this bill. It's the kind of a bill that only liberals would support. Our Glorious Christian Leader vetoed the bill in private to avoid questions about the laughing and the smirking.

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Former US President Jimmy Carter Knows US Tortures

October 11th, 2007

The Demoncratic former US President, Jimmy Carter is well known for a faux style of Christianity that includes building houses for the poor and efforts to promote peace. Instead of bombing oil-rich countries and then invading them like Our Glorious Christian Leader, he tries to end armed struggles. And instead of protecting the rights of wealthy arms merchants and filthy rich oil magnates, President Carter is concerned for the less fortunate. He hardly ever condemns gays either. What is up with this guy?

When you consider the style of faux Christianity displayed by this Demoncrat ex-President it is no wonder he would go public with a story about the US torturing prisoners, but notice that he fails to mention that none of these tortured prisoners are Christians. I mean, sure, we do not torture registered Republicans that drive Cadillac SUVs to church on Sunday, the people we torture are just people we do not like. And if we do not like them, then it is obvious that they are bad people. And besides, these people are either foreigners or liberals, so what is all of the fuss about? Let's hope that if Alberto Torture Time Gonzales was still the Attorney General he would be rolling over in his grave.

It is no surprise that President Carter is not a member of the Party of Jesus.

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Glorious Christian Leader Cuts Child Care to Poor Brats

August 21st, 2007

Our Glorious Christian Leader has moved to close legal loopholes that were being exploited by poor people to get free medical care for their brat trailer park spawn. Any member of the Party of Jesus in good standing knows that the only use for poor people is as consumers of Spaghetti-Os and toilet paper.

Unlike orders for fighter jets, land mines, cluster bombs, and other utilities used to spread democracy, medical care for poor people is difficult to direct financially to Party of Jesus allied corporations. Obviously Jesus wants the Party of Jesus faithful to prosper, so any fool can see that this health care for poor children thing is directly opposed to Christianity and must be terminated.

Only a Demoncrat would care about health care for poor people, since poverty for all is a major component of the Demoncrat Agenda, along with promoting terr'ism and forced lesbianism in our nation's schools. That's why the Demoncrats support this so-called State Children's Health Insurance Program.

This satanic legislation that has been sapping the resources of God-Fearing Party of Jesus faithful was created during a Demoncratic administration. Obviously Our Glorious Christian Leader would have vetoed this disgusting legislation instantly. We can't tolerate having federal funds meant for weapons, death, destruction and other US exports being redirected to health care for a bunch of brat poor children, many of whom are not even Caucasian.

This Satanic legislation was created in 1997 to help children whose useless poor families couldn't afford to buy insurance from righteous Party of Jesus-contributing insurance companies but didn't qualify for Medicaid (another Demoncrat scheme to waste government money on old people and poor people), the program -- called S-CHIP, appeared ready to expand recently when the Demoncrat-controlled U.S. Congress passed legislation to broaden its availability. Fortunately Our Glorious Christian Leader nipped this one in the bud.

Being a compassionate conservative doesn't come free, it requires constant vigilance against programs to drain taxpayer funds away from true patriotic places to spend our money, like Halliburton, Lockheed Martin, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, and Boeing. Thank goodness that Our Glorious Christian Leader acted quickly to stem this disgraceful abuse of the Federal budget.

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