Party of Jesus

A Party of Jesus State Senator from California, known to frequent gay bars in Sacramento, has been arrested on DUI charges after leaving a gay nightclub with another man, that, well you know, wink wink nudge nudge.

State Senator Roy Ashburn has always opposed gay rights. As a member of the Party of Jesus it is his religious duty to badmouth gays at every opportunity and to exploit the fear of homosexuality to win elections.

The mayor of West Sacramento, an out gay man elected by voters because he is honest, stated in front of TV cameras that he often sees anti-gay Senator Ashburn in gay bars in the company of gay men. Praise Jeebus!

Senator Ashburn, who enjoys the company of a certain sort of man, has always been an outspoken opponent of equal rights for gay men. He is a Roman Catholic, he votes against gay rights during the day and visits gay bars in the evenings. During his daytime career as a not-gay-at-all Party of Jesus legislator he has voted against a law recognizing same sex marriages and against a bill honoring Harvey Milk (source).

Until his DUI arrest with another man in the vehicle he had a talk radio program on a Kern County radio station, oddly since his bust the web link for details of his show produces a 404, not found error.

We expect Senator Ashburn will soon hold a press conference and announce "I am not gay, I never have been gay", after all, he's a Republican.

Jenny Sanford, the wife of Party of Jesus South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, has filed for divorce from her husband in order to demonstrate her respect for the Sanctity of Divorce.

The Sanfords are well known for sanctity, Governor Sanford made the news a while back when he moved to protect the Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs with a lady friend in Argentina. He has also demonstrated his support for the Sanctity of Mis-Using Taxpayer Funds by having the state pay for his extra marital trips to Argentina.

Governor Sanford has long spoken out on the importance of Preserving Traditional Marriage and he has done a great job in South Carolina of making sure that marriage is protected from gay couples. After all, if gays could marry they might get married!

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford (Party of Jesus) is a member of the morally superior Jeebus-brand political party formerly known as the Republicans. Because of his moral superiority and oft-stated support for the Sanctity of Marriage it may come as a wee bit of a surprise to learn that this prominent Party of Jesus politician is facing ethics charges, like about 37 of them, for his morally superior extra-marital affair and his morally superior use of taxpayer funds to support his luxurious Party of Jesus lifestyle choice.

It's fairly obvious that this poor, misunderstood Party of Jesus politician has been working overtime in his pious efforts to support and protect the Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs. We are having a difficult time understanding why so many liberals and New York Jew media types keep picking on this poor man. Anyone can plainly see he is no more or less than any other Party of Jesus politicians, I mean at least he does not go trolling in airport mens rooms or public parks like, well, other Party of Jesus supporters of the Sanctity of Moral Hypocrisy.

Isn't it about time for the homo, liberal, obamacare, illegal alien President press to stop picking on this poor man? We didn't think so either
(story)

Not content to let South Carolina and Nevada scoop all of the Family Values headlines Party of Jesus California Assemblyman Mike Duvall went public with his support for the Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs in front of a live microphone back in July. Representing obscenely Republican Orange County the married California Assemblyman decided to rave about the hot sex he had with a pair of ladies in front of a live microphone. When it comes to preserving the Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs there is simply no organization that even comes close to the holy, righteous, sanctimonious Party of Jesus!

Once the scandal hit the press his fellow Party of Jesus legislators turned on him as fast as they might be expected to vote against equal rights for homos.

It appears that one of the hot babes that Duvall was boning was a lobbyist representing a corporation whose business he was charged with regulating. Our guess is that you are just as surprised as we are that a Party of Jesus legislator would be fraternizing in intimate ways with a lobbyist representing a powerful corporation.

Family Values and the Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs are both registered trademarks of the Party of Jesus, a corporate political party officially sanctioned by the best Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy of them all. For some reason Assemblyman Mike Duvall seems to have resigned.

(story)

Technorati Tags: Party of Jesus, Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs, Family Values, Mike Duvall, Orange County, Republican

Party of Jesus Tennessee Senator Paul Stanley, a Family Values™ anti-gay paragon of Jeebus-brand virtue, who has crusaded to ban gay adoption of children and who once said in public "When you're married, there's a commitment there" has resigned his seat in the Tennessee Senate after being exposed as a typical Party of Jesus anti-gay, moralistic, scheming, deceitful, lying hypocrite as well as a victim of attempted blackmail.

We've lost count recently on the number of Party of Jesus elected officials who campaign on a holier than fags ticket and then get caught with their dipstick in someone else's engine block.

If there is a lesson that can be learned from the dozens of Republican sex scandals it is certainly that the people who do the most preaching about other people's sex lives are the ones who are desperate to conceal something about themselves.

The holier than thou attitude of Party of Jesus fraudsters is really wearing thin among the voters. Even the most gullible of voters, sometimes called Christians, are beginning to realize that there is a clear dichotomy between what Party of Jesus legislators say everyone else should do and what they do themselves.

Stanley had been subjected to blackmail and extortion, and he did contact the police who witnessed a $10,000 payoff made in the darkness of a Tennessee back alley. Although the would-be extortionist was arrested in April of this year, the Party of Jesus holier than thou politician managed to keep the story out of the press until now.

As the Party of Jesus continues digging it's grave we'll be happy to stand by with refreshments to revitalize them in their efforts to expose their own deceit. Of course there will still be some voters who support the Party of Jesus because they wish to protect the Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs. We're sure that Paul Stanley is so very much morally superior to the gay couples he has demonized in the past.

Party of Jesus Family Values politicians, it would seem, are even sleazier than your garden variety heathen politicians.

Let's all pray for Party of Jesus Tennessee Senator Paul Stanley, after all, nothing fails like prayer.

Technorati Tags: Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs, Party of Jesus, Tennessee, Senator Paul Stanley, Family Values, Hypocrisy, anti-gay, moralistic, scheming, deceitful, lying, hypocrite, Republican, wingnut, holier than fags

Recently the obviously insane Oklahoma Party of Jesus legislator Sally Kern sponsored a bigotry is morality proclamation, and in the process tried her dumbass darnedest to make it look like the official policy of the State of Oklahoma.

Being, as they are, pre-selected for extreme gullibility and the fervent desire to grant belief in the absence of evidence, the co-bigots who produce the Baptist Messenger jumped on the bandwagon and published Kern's memo, which as usual blames Teh Gays for every problem in the known universe, and they published it with the Great Seal of the State of Oklahoma, also making it appear, falsely, that the Governor and the Oklahoma Secretary of State had signed the Kern creed of bigotry and Jeebus-brand intolerance. In fact Governor Brad Henry and Secretary of State Susan Savage are decent human beings with no interest in promoting bigotry and intolerance, and they had nothing to do with this Party of Jesus dogma.

Now the Baptist fundietards have been forced to issue a formal apology for their falsehood.

"In the July 16 Messenger, the graphic representation of the Oklahoma Citizen's Proclamation for Morality was misleading, indicating that Oklahoma Gov. Brad Henry and Secretary of State Susan Savage had signed the document. This is not the case, and the Messenger staff apologizes for the oversight and error."

(story)

If they were not fundietards driven by a desperate need to be holier than somebody the Baptists might be able to learn from this experience and avoid Sally Kern in the future like the plague of stoopit that she is, but bigots of a feather do flock together. No doubt Oklahoma will provide us with more proof of the Sanctity of Stupidity fairly soon. Of course there are many decent, rational, educated people in Oklahoma too, like the Governor and the Secretary of State.

Technorati Tags: Sally Kern, Party of Jesus, Bigotry, Oklahoma, Baptist Messenger, Homophobia, Intolerance, Baptists, Apology, Brad Henry, Secretary of State Susan Savage, Fundietards, stoopit, Sanctity of Stupidity

After years of patiently explaining to a befuddled nation that Family Values® means God Hates Fags, the Party of Jesus has recently introduced a brand new definition for Family Values, now it means conducting an extra-marital affair.

Take the recent case of South Carolina Governor Sanford, a rising star in the sinking party, who last weekend celebrated Father's Day by ignoring his wife and 4 children to go hang out with his ho in Argentina. Governor Sanford was demonstrating his Party of Jesus Family Values by cheating on his wife and ignoring his young children on a day all about Fatherhood. We appreciate his sacrifice on behalf of the Party of Jesus, a leading provider of moral leadership.

Then of course there was the case just last week of US Senator Ensign (NV-PoJ) who announced from his piety control center in Las Vegas that he too had been practicing genuine Party of Jesus brand Family Values by cheating on his wife while simultaneously cuckolding one of his own male employees, since both the good Senator and his ho were cheating on their own spouses this raises the Piety Points received according to standard Party of Jesus sanctity preservation scoring rules.

If you are a member of the Party of Jesus, or you hope they will let you join, be sure to cheat on your spouse and then embarrass her in front of millions of people with your Party of Jesus public confession.

Help preserve the Sanctity of Extramarital Affairs, vote Party of Jesus!

Chances are God still hates fags though, so if you are gay, no worries.

Technorati Tags: Party of Jesus, Governor Sanford, Senator Ensign, marital affairs, Sanctity of Cheating, Sanctity of Extramarital Affairs, Hypocrisy, Republicans, God Hates Fags

Convicted Party of Jesus bathroom troll and Family Values supporter, former US Senator Larry Craig, has dropped his appeal to overturn his confessed guilt in a bathroom trolling incident at the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport.

The former Senator, who is not gay and never has been gay, previously plead guilty and signed paperwork admitting that he was guilty of activities in a now famous restroom that were interpreted as solicitation to engage in man to man sex. He is not gay. He never has been gay. He simply has a wide stance. And let's not forget that the former Senator has got teh family values too!

Mr Craig has become a celebrity, and he was even honored by the St Paul Saints baseball team with a Larry Craig Bobblefoot Day. The team said that it was a "tribute to all their toe-tapping friends and fans from around the nation who may ever have set foot in Minneapolis-St. Paul… even for just a change of planes." This is not to be confused with the Larry Craig Action Figure. In summary, former Senator Larry Craig was guilty when he said he was guilty, he was still guilty when he said he was not guilty and appealed his own admission of his own guilt, and now that he has dropped his I'm not guilty appeal to the Minnesota Supreme Court he is still guilty. And he is not gay. And he never has been gay. He just likes to provide oral service to strangers in public restrooms. Oh, and he has Party of Jesus brand Family Values too. Got it?

Technorati Tags: Family Values, Larry Craig, not gay, never has been gay, Wide Stance, Party of Jesus, guilty

Famous Party of Jesus Sexual Purity Tester and Anti-Blowjob campaigner Kenneth Starr has taken the starring role in the campaign to overturn my marriage, which obviously makes the Baby Jesus cry just as much as it would if I was a US President receiving oral sex in the Oval Office.

You may remember Starr from an earlier century in which he helped bring decency and morality back to the White House after we had suffered through 8 years of a President that did not order torture or invade foreign countries based on a pack of lies. His heroic and obsessive smear campaign against President Clinton endeared him forever in the hearts of witch hunt loving Fundamentalist Christians.

And now it is my turn to be the witch and enjoy the full slime and sleaze that will be sent my way from this devout Christian lawyer.

Starr has taken on the STARRing role in a new lawsuit brought by a coalition of Jesus-brand idiots to overturn my marriage and the marriages of about 18,000 other California same-sex couples. Of course it is obviously necessary for Starr to attack my Family's Values since my marriage is harming him by

Technorati Tags: Kenneth Starr, Proposition H8, California, Same-sex Marriage, homophobia, idiotic religions, stupid religions, moronic religions, extremely stupid religions, ant-blowjob, sexual purity test

Jeebus.biz, a leading provider of religious ridicule merchandise, is proud to announce a brand new addition to their extensive collection of Jeebus-brand merchandise.

In response to California Ballot Proposition 8, also known as Proposition H8te, this graphic was designed by a gay man married to his gay partner in gay Palm Springs California. Jeebus is notequal to hate.

The new Jeebus ≠ H8te! design is now available on your choice of coasters, cutting boards, aprons, canvas tote bags, and a wide variety of men's and women's clothing styles. Yes, that's right friends, Jeebus ≠ H8te.

If you have friends or relatives who are still suffering from ridiculous ancient religious delusions, why not get them a seasonally appropriate gift this holiday season. You can help remind your friends and relatives that their Imaginary Jewish Savior never once mentioned faggots in all of his make-believe years on Earth.

There are two primary reasons that Jeebus ≠ H8te, the first is the most obvious - there is no such creature. But, if you enter into the world of make believe and you accept myths like Tinkerbell and Jeebus, then it is important to remember that this made up character never once mentioned the dreaded Homosexual Agenda.

Buy lots of Jeebus stuff to give away this year, it's a great way to promote the homosexual agenda!

Technorati Tags: Jeebus, Jesus, hate, homophobia, proposition 8, mormons, morons, Proposition h8te, california, constitution, gay rights, civil rights, same-sex marriage, same sex marriage, gay marriage, California election, ballot measure, ballot initiative, Focus on the family, Salt Lake City, protests