Party of Jesus

A Party of Jesus State Senator from California, known to frequent gay bars in Sacramento, has been arrested on DUI charges after leaving a gay nightclub with another man, that, well you know, wink wink nudge nudge.

State Senator Roy Ashburn has always opposed gay rights. As a member of the Party of Jesus it is his religious duty to badmouth gays at every opportunity and to exploit the fear of homosexuality to win elections.

The mayor of West Sacramento, an out gay man elected by voters because he is honest, stated in front of TV cameras that he often sees anti-gay Senator Ashburn in gay bars in the company of gay men. Praise Jeebus!

Senator Ashburn, who enjoys the company of a certain sort of man, has always been an outspoken opponent of equal rights for gay men. He is a Roman Catholic, he votes against gay rights during the day and visits gay bars in the evenings. During his daytime career as a not-gay-at-all Party of Jesus legislator he has voted against a law recognizing same sex marriages and against a bill honoring Harvey Milk (source).

Until his DUI arrest with another man in the vehicle he had a talk radio program on a Kern County radio station, oddly since his bust the web link for details of his show produces a 404, not found error.

We expect Senator Ashburn will soon hold a press conference and announce “I am not gay, I never have been gay”, after all, he’s a Republican.

Jenny Sanford, the wife of Party of Jesus South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, has filed for divorce from her husband in order to demonstrate her respect for the Sanctity of Divorce.

The Sanfords are well known for sanctity, Governor Sanford made the news a while back when he moved to protect the Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs with a lady friend in Argentina. He has also demonstrated his support for the Sanctity of Mis-Using Taxpayer Funds by having the state pay for his extra marital trips to Argentina.

Governor Sanford has long spoken out on the importance of Preserving Traditional Marriage and he has done a great job in South Carolina of making sure that marriage is protected from gay couples. After all, if gays could marry they might get married!

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford (Party of Jesus) is a member of the morally superior Jeebus-brand political party formerly known as the Republicans. Because of his moral superiority and oft-stated support for the Sanctity of Marriage it may come as a wee bit of a surprise to learn that this prominent Party of Jesus politician is facing ethics charges, like about 37 of them, for his morally superior extra-marital affair and his morally superior use of taxpayer funds to support his luxurious Party of Jesus lifestyle choice.

It’s fairly obvious that this poor, misunderstood Party of Jesus politician has been working overtime in his pious efforts to support and protect the Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs. We are having a difficult time understanding why so many liberals and New York Jew media types keep picking on this poor man. Anyone can plainly see he is no more or less than any other Party of Jesus politicians, I mean at least he does not go trolling in airport mens rooms or public parks like, well, other Party of Jesus supporters of the Sanctity of Moral Hypocrisy.

Isn’t it about time for the homo, liberal, obamacare, illegal alien President press to stop picking on this poor man? We didn’t think so either
(story)

Not content to let South Carolina and Nevada scoop all of the Family Values headlines Party of Jesus California Assemblyman Mike Duvall went public with his support for the Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs in front of a live microphone back in July. Representing obscenely Republican Orange County the married California Assemblyman decided to rave about the hot sex he had with a pair of ladies in front of a live microphone. When it comes to preserving the Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs there is simply no organization that even comes close to the holy, righteous, sanctimonious Party of Jesus!

Once the scandal hit the press his fellow Party of Jesus legislators turned on him as fast as they might be expected to vote against equal rights for homos.

It appears that one of the hot babes that Duvall was boning was a lobbyist representing a corporation whose business he was charged with regulating. Our guess is that you are just as surprised as we are that a Party of Jesus legislator would be fraternizing in intimate ways with a lobbyist representing a powerful corporation.

Family Values and the Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs are both registered trademarks of the Party of Jesus, a corporate political party officially sanctioned by the best Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy of them all. For some reason Assemblyman Mike Duvall seems to have resigned.

(story)

Technorati Tags: Party of Jesus, Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs, Family Values, Mike Duvall, Orange County, Republican

The Party of Jesus suffered yet another defeat today when a woman that is not even Caucasian was confirmed by the US Senate as the next justice to serve on the US Supreme Court. I mean, she’s not even white!

These are lean days for the Party of Jesus as they are forced, over and over again, to suffer defeat at the hands of an enemy that does not even use homophobia or fear tactics to whip up support from dumbasses.

Even with their armies of Limbaugh-loving thugs that recently disrupted Democratic House members in their home districts the Rethuglicans still don’t seem able to win at anything except disruption and the fear of a queer planet.

But really, it’s bad enough that they had to stomach having another woman on the court, one that is not even a millionaire, but a Hispanic woman? It’s no wonder their hero Limpblob is fit to be tied. It’s almost enough to make you feel sorry for the tools of big business and the Jeebus industry, not quite, but almost. Ok, not at all.

Technorati Tags: Sotomayor, Supreme Court, Hispanic woman, Party of Jesus, Republican, Rethuglican, racism, Limbaugh

Party of Jesus Tennessee Senator Paul Stanley, a Family Values™ anti-gay paragon of Jeebus-brand virtue, who has crusaded to ban gay adoption of children and who once said in public “When you’re married, there’s a commitment there” has resigned his seat in the Tennessee Senate after being exposed as a typical Party of Jesus anti-gay, moralistic, scheming, deceitful, lying hypocrite as well as a victim of attempted blackmail.

We’ve lost count recently on the number of Party of Jesus elected officials who campaign on a holier than fags ticket and then get caught with their dipstick in someone else’s engine block.

If there is a lesson that can be learned from the dozens of Republican sex scandals it is certainly that the people who do the most preaching about other people’s sex lives are the ones who are desperate to conceal something about themselves.

The holier than thou attitude of Party of Jesus fraudsters is really wearing thin among the voters. Even the most gullible of voters, sometimes called Christians, are beginning to realize that there is a clear dichotomy between what Party of Jesus legislators say everyone else should do and what they do themselves.

Stanley had been subjected to blackmail and extortion, and he did contact the police who witnessed a $10,000 payoff made in the darkness of a Tennessee back alley. Although the would-be extortionist was arrested in April of this year, the Party of Jesus holier than thou politician managed to keep the story out of the press until now.

As the Party of Jesus continues digging it’s grave we’ll be happy to stand by with refreshments to revitalize them in their efforts to expose their own deceit. Of course there will still be some voters who support the Party of Jesus because they wish to protect the Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs. We’re sure that Paul Stanley is so very much morally superior to the gay couples he has demonized in the past.

Party of Jesus Family Values politicians, it would seem, are even sleazier than your garden variety heathen politicians.

Let’s all pray for Party of Jesus Tennessee Senator Paul Stanley, after all, nothing fails like prayer.

Technorati Tags: Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs, Party of Jesus, Tennessee, Senator Paul Stanley, Family Values, Hypocrisy, anti-gay, moralistic, scheming, deceitful, lying, hypocrite, Republican, wingnut, holier than fags

After years of patiently explaining to a befuddled nation that Family Values® means God Hates Fags, the Party of Jesus has recently introduced a brand new definition for Family Values, now it means conducting an extra-marital affair.

Take the recent case of South Carolina Governor Sanford, a rising star in the sinking party, who last weekend celebrated Father’s Day by ignoring his wife and 4 children to go hang out with his ho in Argentina. Governor Sanford was demonstrating his Party of Jesus Family Values by cheating on his wife and ignoring his young children on a day all about Fatherhood. We appreciate his sacrifice on behalf of the Party of Jesus, a leading provider of moral leadership.

Then of course there was the case just last week of US Senator Ensign (NV-PoJ) who announced from his piety control center in Las Vegas that he too had been practicing genuine Party of Jesus brand Family Values by cheating on his wife while simultaneously cuckolding one of his own male employees, since both the good Senator and his ho were cheating on their own spouses this raises the Piety Points received according to standard Party of Jesus sanctity preservation scoring rules.

If you are a member of the Party of Jesus, or you hope they will let you join, be sure to cheat on your spouse and then embarrass her in front of millions of people with your Party of Jesus public confession.

Help preserve the Sanctity of Extramarital Affairs, vote Party of Jesus!

Chances are God still hates fags though, so if you are gay, no worries.

Technorati Tags: Party of Jesus, Governor Sanford, Senator Ensign, marital affairs, Sanctity of Cheating, Sanctity of Extramarital Affairs, Hypocrisy, Republicans, God Hates Fags

Former US Secretary of State and Iraq War Salesman Colin Powell has gone on the attack against the racist, sexist, obese drug addict Rush Limpblob and former Vice President Darth Evil.

Mr. Powell, once a highly respected man before he joined the conspiracy to persuade the American people to support a war of aggression based on a pack of lies, seems intent on regaining some of his former status as a moderate, thoughtful and patriotic man. Limpblob and Evil are intent on maintaining the insanely jingoistic, militaristic, and xenophobic characteristics that became so deeply ingrained in the Party of Jesus during the 8 year reign of a Jesus-loving gang of war criminals.

As long as racist, hate mongering drug addicts and immensely evil war criminals continue as the public political face of Jesus in America rational and decent citizens will continue to flee the Party of Jesus in droves. So let’s all hope that Limpblob and Evil continue as the official spokespersons for war crimes, illegal wars, violations of international law and other official Party of Jesus policies.

Of course we do not mind if Republicans pray for a resurgence of their party, since nothing fails like prayer.

Technorati Tags: Cheney, Powell, Colin Powell, Limbaugh, Evil, Republican, Torture, war crimes, Jesus

During debate on a bill that would make hate crimes out of violence against gays based on Jeebus-based bigotry like the kind the Party of Jesus peddles at every opportunity, North Carolina Congresswoman Virginia Foxx said out loud that Matthew Shepard was not killed because he was gay.

While Matthew’s mother Judy sat in the audience observing the debate in the US House of Representatives, the pious, faithful, Jeebus-loving Republican asserted that statements to the effect Matthew Shepard was killed as part of a gay bashing were a hoax.

She sure has got Teh Jeebus! What could be more pious than completely denying reality?

Technorati Tags: jeebus, Republican, denial, homophobia, matthew shepard, Judy Shepard, Republican lies

A duel of sorts has broken out this week in the Colorado legislature as two Party of Jesus contestants vie with each other to make the most amazingly stupid yet stunningly vicious attacks on innocent Colorado citizens they are paid to represent. Our first contestant for Jeebus-brand asshole of the month is Colorado State Senator Scott Renfroe. For Scott’s entry he went right to the most ludicrous and malicious lie he could imagine about gay people. Scott claimed on February 24th that voting in favor of giving spousal benefits to the partners of gay state employees would be like legalizing murder. Scott hopes his use of Party of Jesus hateful rhetoric against an unpopular minority will endear him to wealthy Caucasian Christian Fundamentalist bigots all over Colorado. At least he knows his constituency. Is he planning to run for higher office? He sure has mastered Jeebus-brand malicious lies!

Also vying for this months extreme hatred for Jeebus award is fellow Party of Jesus state senator Dave Schultheis. Dave decided to use the extreme opposite of compassion for his entry. Talking about innocent babies born to mothers infected with HIV, David showed his extensive knowledge of Jeebus’ spiteful hatred when he suggested they should not approve HIV tests for pregnant women because their babies might not suffer if we did. Considering that Dave does belong to the Party of Jesus, perhaps he might be moved to a more compassionate stance if the bill under consideration included massive tax cuts for the very rich. Perhaps he is considering a move to the nation’s capital? Dave definitely has got Teh Jeebus!

Seems like there are quite a few Christians in the Colorado state legislature. We’re sure that Jeebus just loves their intolerance.

Technorati Tags: Colorado, State Senate, Republicans, Party of Jesus, God’s Love, Compassion, Homophobia, HIV, pregnancy, HIV testing, murder, gays, hatred, intolerance, cruelty, state employees, partner benefits, Christianity, Jeebus