Party of Jesus

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford (Party of Jesus) is a member of the morally superior Jeebus-brand political party formerly known as the Republicans. Because of his moral superiority and oft-stated support for the Sanctity of Marriage it may come as a wee bit of a surprise to learn that this prominent Party of Jesus politician is facing ethics charges, like about 37 of them, for his morally superior extra-marital affair and his morally superior use of taxpayer funds to support his luxurious Party of Jesus lifestyle choice.

It’s fairly obvious that this poor, misunderstood Party of Jesus politician has been working overtime in his pious efforts to support and protect the Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs. We are having a difficult time understanding why so many liberals and New York Jew media types keep picking on this poor man. Anyone can plainly see he is no more or less than any other Party of Jesus politicians, I mean at least he does not go trolling in airport mens rooms or public parks like, well, other Party of Jesus supporters of the Sanctity of Moral Hypocrisy.

Isn’t it about time for the homo, liberal, obamacare, illegal alien President press to stop picking on this poor man? We didn’t think so either
(story)

Not content to let South Carolina and Nevada scoop all of the Family Values headlines Party of Jesus California Assemblyman Mike Duvall went public with his support for the Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs in front of a live microphone back in July. Representing obscenely Republican Orange County the married California Assemblyman decided to rave about the hot sex he had with a pair of ladies in front of a live microphone. When it comes to preserving the Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs there is simply no organization that even comes close to the holy, righteous, sanctimonious Party of Jesus!

Once the scandal hit the press his fellow Party of Jesus legislators turned on him as fast as they might be expected to vote against equal rights for homos.

It appears that one of the hot babes that Duvall was boning was a lobbyist representing a corporation whose business he was charged with regulating. Our guess is that you are just as surprised as we are that a Party of Jesus legislator would be fraternizing in intimate ways with a lobbyist representing a powerful corporation.

Family Values and the Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs are both registered trademarks of the Party of Jesus, a corporate political party officially sanctioned by the best Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy of them all. For some reason Assemblyman Mike Duvall seems to have resigned.

(story)

Technorati Tags: Party of Jesus, Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs, Family Values, Mike Duvall, Orange County, Republican

The Party of Jesus, through their holy leader Sarah Palin, has exposed the sooper seekrit plans of Barack Obama to impose mandatory death panels on anyone stupid enough to believe anything Sarah Palin has to say.

In a special reveal of Party of Jesus dogma, Sarah Palin has exposed the brutal plans of our known Negro leader to require anyone over the age of 85, or anyone registered as a Republican, to submit to panels that will decide if they meet the mandatory death requirements.

We were lucky enough to get a sneak peek at the Death Panel component of the new health care bill. See if you qualify for the mandatory death policy.

Anyone who is:

1. A Known, practicing Republican
2. Opposed to gay marriage
3. Owner of a small business
4. Fundamentalist Christian
5. Health insurance executive
6. Opposed to government bailouts

If you match only 1 of the criteria above you will be placed on the Death Panel Standby List. This list is only used if the other criteria fail to meet the Kenyan Terr’ist Negro Non-Citizen Leader’s minimum death quota. Odds are you might be OK.

If you match up with any 2 of the criteria listed above you will be required to appear before your local Democratic Party Death Panel. Bring you Last Will and Testament with you, and please select an undertaker before you appear for your interview.

Should you happen to match more than 2 of the criteria listed above you will be sent to a US naval base located in a warm climate, kept in a cell without legal representation, and forced to listen to Rush Limbaugh broadcasts 24/7. Suicide assistance councilors will be available.

Technorati Tags: Palin, Death Panels, Death Camps, Birthers, Kenya, sooper seekrit

After years of patiently explaining to a befuddled nation that Family Values® means God Hates Fags, the Party of Jesus has recently introduced a brand new definition for Family Values, now it means conducting an extra-marital affair.

Take the recent case of South Carolina Governor Sanford, a rising star in the sinking party, who last weekend celebrated Father’s Day by ignoring his wife and 4 children to go hang out with his ho in Argentina. Governor Sanford was demonstrating his Party of Jesus Family Values by cheating on his wife and ignoring his young children on a day all about Fatherhood. We appreciate his sacrifice on behalf of the Party of Jesus, a leading provider of moral leadership.

Then of course there was the case just last week of US Senator Ensign (NV-PoJ) who announced from his piety control center in Las Vegas that he too had been practicing genuine Party of Jesus brand Family Values by cheating on his wife while simultaneously cuckolding one of his own male employees, since both the good Senator and his ho were cheating on their own spouses this raises the Piety Points received according to standard Party of Jesus sanctity preservation scoring rules.

If you are a member of the Party of Jesus, or you hope they will let you join, be sure to cheat on your spouse and then embarrass her in front of millions of people with your Party of Jesus public confession.

Help preserve the Sanctity of Extramarital Affairs, vote Party of Jesus!

Chances are God still hates fags though, so if you are gay, no worries.

Technorati Tags: Party of Jesus, Governor Sanford, Senator Ensign, marital affairs, Sanctity of Cheating, Sanctity of Extramarital Affairs, Hypocrisy, Republicans, God Hates Fags

Former US Secretary of State and Iraq War Salesman Colin Powell has gone on the attack against the racist, sexist, obese drug addict Rush Limpblob and former Vice President Darth Evil.

Mr. Powell, once a highly respected man before he joined the conspiracy to persuade the American people to support a war of aggression based on a pack of lies, seems intent on regaining some of his former status as a moderate, thoughtful and patriotic man. Limpblob and Evil are intent on maintaining the insanely jingoistic, militaristic, and xenophobic characteristics that became so deeply ingrained in the Party of Jesus during the 8 year reign of a Jesus-loving gang of war criminals.

As long as racist, hate mongering drug addicts and immensely evil war criminals continue as the public political face of Jesus in America rational and decent citizens will continue to flee the Party of Jesus in droves. So let’s all hope that Limpblob and Evil continue as the official spokespersons for war crimes, illegal wars, violations of international law and other official Party of Jesus policies.

Of course we do not mind if Republicans pray for a resurgence of their party, since nothing fails like prayer.

Technorati Tags: Cheney, Powell, Colin Powell, Limbaugh, Evil, Republican, Torture, war crimes, Jesus

The town of Tikrit in Iraq has erected a 6 foot memorial sculpture celebrating the journalist who threw his shoes at George Warcriminal Bush, the Party of Jesus war criminal and former President who did enormous damage for no good reason to Iraq and his own country.

The large copper coated shoe has a plastic bush inside for added comic relief. Artist Laith al-Amari says that his work was done in honor of Muntadhar al-Zeidi, the brave Iraqi journalist who expressed so dramatically the rage of a nation that was invaded based on a pack of lies.

Meanwhile in the United States columnist Joe Klein has suggested that we should create a statue in memory of the Party of Jesus decider who authorized torture. He suggested a statue of a hooded Abu Ghraib prisoner being forced to stand in one of the stress positions authorized by our former War Criminal President.

We’re happy to see the worst President in US history out of Washington. We hope that he will continue to be reviled and shamed as our great nation recovers from 8 years of Party of Jesus faith-based idiocy.

Technorati Tags: Tikrit, Iraq, Shoe, Memorial, Muntadhar al-Zeidi, Bush, war crimes, war criminal, Laith al-Amari, Joe Klein, Abu Ghraib

The man who invented, deceived, sold, and directed billions of war profit dollars from the illegal, immoral, unethical, unnecessary, unwise and unfinished war of imperialist aggression against the innocent civilian population of Iraq; sending huge profits to his death/kill industry pals, Darth Cheney, has endorsed the dementia-suffering Senior Senile Senator from Arizona to figurehead the 3rd Bush crime family term.

I’m sure Darth likes the Senior Senile Senator’s empty headed running mate too. Darth loves working with idiots.

Technorati Tags: Cheney endorsement, Darth Cheney, McCain, mcBush, Senile, Senator, Arizona, Iraq

Party of Jesus US Senator from Alaska Ted Stevens has been found GUILTY, not just of being a slimeball Republican fraudster, there are lots of those, no, this Republican felon got caught taking huge kickbacks from firms he was regulating.

The indictment charged that he received some $250,000 worth from a longtime friend, Bill Allen, the owner of a huge oil-services construction company, as well as a sled dog, an expensive massage chair and other items from other friends.

That’s one Alaska Republican found guilty on ethics violations per week for the last 2 weeks. Some citizens may recall that Joe 6 Pack Soccer Mom $150,000 Wardrobe FemBush was also found guilty of ethics violations quite recently.

Jeebus must be very proud of his Family Values unethical Rethuglicans!

Book ‘em, Danno!

Technorati Tags: Republican, fraud, Ted Stevens, lies, Party of Jesus, Ethics Violation, Guilty, Rethuglican, Internet, Series of Tubes, Big Oil, corruption, Vote Jesus

Amy Strozzi, the talented hair stylist responsible for maintaining the “just another soccer-mom with a $150,000 dollar wardrobe” look for Sarah FemBush Palin is receiving a higher rate of pay from the Party of Jesus than their foreign policy adviser Randy Scheunemann.

This is perfectly consistent with the general Republican philosophy of looking good to the voting public while screwing up royally behind the scenes.

Amy Strozzi, who works on the reality show “So You Think You Can Dance” and has been Palin’s traveling stylist, was paid $22,800, according to campaign finance reports for the first two weeks in October. In contrast, McCain’s foreign policy adviser, Randy Scheunemann, was paid $12,500, the report showed.

Vote Amy the makeup artist, vote Jesus!

Technorati Tags: Randy Scheunemann, FemBush, Sarah Palin, Soccer-Mom, Amy Strozzi, makeup, Republican, Rethuglican, Party of Jesus

Today we learned that for the small sum of $150,000 dollars you can put lipstick on a moron, unfortunately she will still be so stupid that a third grader can stump her.

It seems that the campaign staff of Arizona Senator and Presidential candidate John McBush spent at least $150,000 for clothing and fashion accessories for the entire moose hunting, Alaska secessionist, out of wedlock teenage mother family of Sarah “FemBush” Palin. After all that money she is still an idiot.

After the Party of Jesus goes down like a lead balloon in less than 2 more weeks, do you suppose Sarah will ask if she can still keep the clothes? (story)

Someone should ask Senator McBush about this so that he will have a chance to say something stupid.

Technorati Tags: Fembush, lipstick, McCain, McBush, Campaign, clothes, accessories, expenditures, 0000, Palin, pig