Party of Jesus

A Party of Jesus State Senator from California, known to frequent gay bars in Sacramento, has been arrested on DUI charges after leaving a gay nightclub with another man, that, well you know, wink wink nudge nudge.

State Senator Roy Ashburn has always opposed gay rights. As a member of the Party of Jesus it is his religious duty to badmouth gays at every opportunity and to exploit the fear of homosexuality to win elections.

The mayor of West Sacramento, an out gay man elected by voters because he is honest, stated in front of TV cameras that he often sees anti-gay Senator Ashburn in gay bars in the company of gay men. Praise Jeebus!

Senator Ashburn, who enjoys the company of a certain sort of man, has always been an outspoken opponent of equal rights for gay men. He is a Roman Catholic, he votes against gay rights during the day and visits gay bars in the evenings. During his daytime career as a not-gay-at-all Party of Jesus legislator he has voted against a law recognizing same sex marriages and against a bill honoring Harvey Milk (source).

Until his DUI arrest with another man in the vehicle he had a talk radio program on a Kern County radio station, oddly since his bust the web link for details of his show produces a 404, not found error.

We expect Senator Ashburn will soon hold a press conference and announce “I am not gay, I never have been gay”, after all, he’s a Republican.

Jenny Sanford, the wife of Party of Jesus South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, has filed for divorce from her husband in order to demonstrate her respect for the Sanctity of Divorce.

The Sanfords are well known for sanctity, Governor Sanford made the news a while back when he moved to protect the Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs with a lady friend in Argentina. He has also demonstrated his support for the Sanctity of Mis-Using Taxpayer Funds by having the state pay for his extra marital trips to Argentina.

Governor Sanford has long spoken out on the importance of Preserving Traditional Marriage and he has done a great job in South Carolina of making sure that marriage is protected from gay couples. After all, if gays could marry they might get married!

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford (Party of Jesus) is a member of the morally superior Jeebus-brand political party formerly known as the Republicans. Because of his moral superiority and oft-stated support for the Sanctity of Marriage it may come as a wee bit of a surprise to learn that this prominent Party of Jesus politician is facing ethics charges, like about 37 of them, for his morally superior extra-marital affair and his morally superior use of taxpayer funds to support his luxurious Party of Jesus lifestyle choice.

It’s fairly obvious that this poor, misunderstood Party of Jesus politician has been working overtime in his pious efforts to support and protect the Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs. We are having a difficult time understanding why so many liberals and New York Jew media types keep picking on this poor man. Anyone can plainly see he is no more or less than any other Party of Jesus politicians, I mean at least he does not go trolling in airport mens rooms or public parks like, well, other Party of Jesus supporters of the Sanctity of Moral Hypocrisy.

Isn’t it about time for the homo, liberal, obamacare, illegal alien President press to stop picking on this poor man? We didn’t think so either
(story)

Not content to let South Carolina and Nevada scoop all of the Family Values headlines Party of Jesus California Assemblyman Mike Duvall went public with his support for the Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs in front of a live microphone back in July. Representing obscenely Republican Orange County the married California Assemblyman decided to rave about the hot sex he had with a pair of ladies in front of a live microphone. When it comes to preserving the Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs there is simply no organization that even comes close to the holy, righteous, sanctimonious Party of Jesus!

Once the scandal hit the press his fellow Party of Jesus legislators turned on him as fast as they might be expected to vote against equal rights for homos.

It appears that one of the hot babes that Duvall was boning was a lobbyist representing a corporation whose business he was charged with regulating. Our guess is that you are just as surprised as we are that a Party of Jesus legislator would be fraternizing in intimate ways with a lobbyist representing a powerful corporation.

Family Values and the Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs are both registered trademarks of the Party of Jesus, a corporate political party officially sanctioned by the best Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy of them all. For some reason Assemblyman Mike Duvall seems to have resigned.

(story)

Technorati Tags: Party of Jesus, Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs, Family Values, Mike Duvall, Orange County, Republican

The Party of Jesus, through their holy leader Sarah Palin, has exposed the sooper seekrit plans of Barack Obama to impose mandatory death panels on anyone stupid enough to believe anything Sarah Palin has to say.

In a special reveal of Party of Jesus dogma, Sarah Palin has exposed the brutal plans of our known Negro leader to require anyone over the age of 85, or anyone registered as a Republican, to submit to panels that will decide if they meet the mandatory death requirements.

We were lucky enough to get a sneak peek at the Death Panel component of the new health care bill. See if you qualify for the mandatory death policy.

Anyone who is:

1. A Known, practicing Republican
2. Opposed to gay marriage
3. Owner of a small business
4. Fundamentalist Christian
5. Health insurance executive
6. Opposed to government bailouts

If you match only 1 of the criteria above you will be placed on the Death Panel Standby List. This list is only used if the other criteria fail to meet the Kenyan Terr’ist Negro Non-Citizen Leader’s minimum death quota. Odds are you might be OK.

If you match up with any 2 of the criteria listed above you will be required to appear before your local Democratic Party Death Panel. Bring you Last Will and Testament with you, and please select an undertaker before you appear for your interview.

Should you happen to match more than 2 of the criteria listed above you will be sent to a US naval base located in a warm climate, kept in a cell without legal representation, and forced to listen to Rush Limbaugh broadcasts 24/7. Suicide assistance councilors will be available.

Technorati Tags: Palin, Death Panels, Death Camps, Birthers, Kenya, sooper seekrit

Party of Jesus Tennessee Senator Paul Stanley, a Family Values™ anti-gay paragon of Jeebus-brand virtue, who has crusaded to ban gay adoption of children and who once said in public “When you’re married, there’s a commitment there” has resigned his seat in the Tennessee Senate after being exposed as a typical Party of Jesus anti-gay, moralistic, scheming, deceitful, lying hypocrite as well as a victim of attempted blackmail.

We’ve lost count recently on the number of Party of Jesus elected officials who campaign on a holier than fags ticket and then get caught with their dipstick in someone else’s engine block.

If there is a lesson that can be learned from the dozens of Republican sex scandals it is certainly that the people who do the most preaching about other people’s sex lives are the ones who are desperate to conceal something about themselves.

The holier than thou attitude of Party of Jesus fraudsters is really wearing thin among the voters. Even the most gullible of voters, sometimes called Christians, are beginning to realize that there is a clear dichotomy between what Party of Jesus legislators say everyone else should do and what they do themselves.

Stanley had been subjected to blackmail and extortion, and he did contact the police who witnessed a $10,000 payoff made in the darkness of a Tennessee back alley. Although the would-be extortionist was arrested in April of this year, the Party of Jesus holier than thou politician managed to keep the story out of the press until now.

As the Party of Jesus continues digging it’s grave we’ll be happy to stand by with refreshments to revitalize them in their efforts to expose their own deceit. Of course there will still be some voters who support the Party of Jesus because they wish to protect the Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs. We’re sure that Paul Stanley is so very much morally superior to the gay couples he has demonized in the past.

Party of Jesus Family Values politicians, it would seem, are even sleazier than your garden variety heathen politicians.

Let’s all pray for Party of Jesus Tennessee Senator Paul Stanley, after all, nothing fails like prayer.

Technorati Tags: Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs, Party of Jesus, Tennessee, Senator Paul Stanley, Family Values, Hypocrisy, anti-gay, moralistic, scheming, deceitful, lying, hypocrite, Republican, wingnut, holier than fags

After years of patiently explaining to a befuddled nation that Family Values® means God Hates Fags, the Party of Jesus has recently introduced a brand new definition for Family Values, now it means conducting an extra-marital affair.

Take the recent case of South Carolina Governor Sanford, a rising star in the sinking party, who last weekend celebrated Father’s Day by ignoring his wife and 4 children to go hang out with his ho in Argentina. Governor Sanford was demonstrating his Party of Jesus Family Values by cheating on his wife and ignoring his young children on a day all about Fatherhood. We appreciate his sacrifice on behalf of the Party of Jesus, a leading provider of moral leadership.

Then of course there was the case just last week of US Senator Ensign (NV-PoJ) who announced from his piety control center in Las Vegas that he too had been practicing genuine Party of Jesus brand Family Values by cheating on his wife while simultaneously cuckolding one of his own male employees, since both the good Senator and his ho were cheating on their own spouses this raises the Piety Points received according to standard Party of Jesus sanctity preservation scoring rules.

If you are a member of the Party of Jesus, or you hope they will let you join, be sure to cheat on your spouse and then embarrass her in front of millions of people with your Party of Jesus public confession.

Help preserve the Sanctity of Extramarital Affairs, vote Party of Jesus!

Chances are God still hates fags though, so if you are gay, no worries.

Technorati Tags: Party of Jesus, Governor Sanford, Senator Ensign, marital affairs, Sanctity of Cheating, Sanctity of Extramarital Affairs, Hypocrisy, Republicans, God Hates Fags

The famously insane Oklahoma State Rep Sally Kern (Party of Jesus) (website) has announced at a conference sponsored by the John Birch Society that she has found a secret copy of the infamous Gay Agenda in a book based on a musical that was, in turn, based on a story by Oscar Wilde.

Kern said the agenda is in a book called “After the Ball,” by Marshall Kirk and Hunter Madsen, a book named after a musical adaptation of Oscar Wilde’s “Lady Windermere’s Fan.” She recounted the bullet points of a secret public relations campaign to have gays accepted by the general public — step by step — with the final goal being not just acceptance of gays by heterosexuals, but eventual triumph of homosexuality as a superior lifestyle.

Among the items in the agenda, Kern said, was getting the public to view homosexuality as a matter of taste, like a preference for strawberry or vanilla ice cream. She quoted the text: “The masses should not be shocked and repelled by premature exposure to homosexual behavior itself.”

“You know,” Kern said. “I’ve done a lot of reading on this. I wish I could describe to you their behavior. I will not because I would be redder than this suit. It’s their behavior that we oppose.

“This theme of equality and freedom is the approach that the homosexuals are using today — totally perverting the true intention of what our Constitution meant. … The homosexuals get it — it’s a struggle between our religious freedoms and their right to do what they want to do.”

Around the banquet hall, Kern’s speech met with applause and calls of “Amen!” from a crowd stoked in a crucible of conspiracy and intrigue. For the whole day, the “Clouds Over America” conference, run and organized by the John Birch Society, held lecture after lecture Jan. 23 and 24 dedicated to explaining their various conspiracy-laden tenets. Here’s one — that a godless secret society, the Illuminati, has been battling against the founding of the United States of America and decent citizens to live in peaceful, worshipful freedom.

(source)

With Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich pretty much out of the picture, and George Warcriminal Bush hiding in Texas from prosecutors, US comedians can use a present like the one delivered by the famously psychotic, gun-toting Kern.

Sally became famous quite some time ago when a speech of hers was posted on YouTube including utterly preposterous claims, including that gays “are recruiting 2 year olds”. This prompted our own long ago YouTube response to Sally.

Technorati Tags: Sally Kern, Party of Jesus, Gay Agenda, recruiting 2 year olds, YouTube, John Birch Society, psychosis, homophobia, Lady Windermere’s Fan, Oscar Wilde, Oklahoma, Marshall Kirk, Hunter Madsen, Clouds Over America

The town of Tikrit in Iraq has erected a 6 foot memorial sculpture celebrating the journalist who threw his shoes at George Warcriminal Bush, the Party of Jesus war criminal and former President who did enormous damage for no good reason to Iraq and his own country.

The large copper coated shoe has a plastic bush inside for added comic relief. Artist Laith al-Amari says that his work was done in honor of Muntadhar al-Zeidi, the brave Iraqi journalist who expressed so dramatically the rage of a nation that was invaded based on a pack of lies.

Meanwhile in the United States columnist Joe Klein has suggested that we should create a statue in memory of the Party of Jesus decider who authorized torture. He suggested a statue of a hooded Abu Ghraib prisoner being forced to stand in one of the stress positions authorized by our former War Criminal President.

We’re happy to see the worst President in US history out of Washington. We hope that he will continue to be reviled and shamed as our great nation recovers from 8 years of Party of Jesus faith-based idiocy.

Technorati Tags: Tikrit, Iraq, Shoe, Memorial, Muntadhar al-Zeidi, Bush, war crimes, war criminal, Laith al-Amari, Joe Klein, Abu Ghraib

Jeebus.biz, a leading provider of religious ridicule merchandise, is proud to announce a brand new addition to their extensive collection of Jeebus-brand merchandise.

In response to California Ballot Proposition 8, also known as Proposition H8te, this graphic was designed by a gay man married to his gay partner in gay Palm Springs California. Jeebus is notequal to hate.

The new Jeebus ≠ H8te! design is now available on your choice of coasters, cutting boards, aprons, canvas tote bags, and a wide variety of men’s and women’s clothing styles. Yes, that’s right friends, Jeebus ≠ H8te.

If you have friends or relatives who are still suffering from ridiculous ancient religious delusions, why not get them a seasonally appropriate gift this holiday season. You can help remind your friends and relatives that their Imaginary Jewish Savior never once mentioned faggots in all of his make-believe years on Earth.

There are two primary reasons that Jeebus ≠ H8te, the first is the most obvious – there is no such creature. But, if you enter into the world of make believe and you accept myths like Tinkerbell and Jeebus, then it is important to remember that this made up character never once mentioned the dreaded Homosexual Agenda.

Buy lots of Jeebus stuff to give away this year, it’s a great way to promote the homosexual agenda!

Technorati Tags: Jeebus, Jesus, hate, homophobia, proposition 8, mormons, morons, Proposition h8te, california, constitution, gay rights, civil rights, same-sex marriage, same sex marriage, gay marriage, California election, ballot measure, ballot initiative, Focus on the family, Salt Lake City, protests