Party of Jesus

The Party of Jesus, through their holy leader Sarah Palin, has exposed the sooper seekrit plans of Barack Obama to impose mandatory death panels on anyone stupid enough to believe anything Sarah Palin has to say.

In a special reveal of Party of Jesus dogma, Sarah Palin has exposed the brutal plans of our known Negro leader to require anyone over the age of 85, or anyone registered as a Republican, to submit to panels that will decide if they meet the mandatory death requirements.

We were lucky enough to get a sneak peek at the Death Panel component of the new health care bill. See if you qualify for the mandatory death policy.

Anyone who is:

1. A Known, practicing Republican
2. Opposed to gay marriage
3. Owner of a small business
4. Fundamentalist Christian
5. Health insurance executive
6. Opposed to government bailouts

If you match only 1 of the criteria above you will be placed on the Death Panel Standby List. This list is only used if the other criteria fail to meet the Kenyan Terr’ist Negro Non-Citizen Leader’s minimum death quota. Odds are you might be OK.

If you match up with any 2 of the criteria listed above you will be required to appear before your local Democratic Party Death Panel. Bring you Last Will and Testament with you, and please select an undertaker before you appear for your interview.

Should you happen to match more than 2 of the criteria listed above you will be sent to a US naval base located in a warm climate, kept in a cell without legal representation, and forced to listen to Rush Limbaugh broadcasts 24/7. Suicide assistance councilors will be available.

Technorati Tags: Palin, Death Panels, Death Camps, Birthers, Kenya, sooper seekrit

The Party of Jesus suffered yet another defeat today when a woman that is not even Caucasian was confirmed by the US Senate as the next justice to serve on the US Supreme Court. I mean, she’s not even white!

These are lean days for the Party of Jesus as they are forced, over and over again, to suffer defeat at the hands of an enemy that does not even use homophobia or fear tactics to whip up support from dumbasses.

Even with their armies of Limbaugh-loving thugs that recently disrupted Democratic House members in their home districts the Rethuglicans still don’t seem able to win at anything except disruption and the fear of a queer planet.

But really, it’s bad enough that they had to stomach having another woman on the court, one that is not even a millionaire, but a Hispanic woman? It’s no wonder their hero Limpblob is fit to be tied. It’s almost enough to make you feel sorry for the tools of big business and the Jeebus industry, not quite, but almost. Ok, not at all.

Technorati Tags: Sotomayor, Supreme Court, Hispanic woman, Party of Jesus, Republican, Rethuglican, racism, Limbaugh

Former US Secretary of State and Iraq War Salesman Colin Powell has gone on the attack against the racist, sexist, obese drug addict Rush Limpblob and former Vice President Darth Evil.

Mr. Powell, once a highly respected man before he joined the conspiracy to persuade the American people to support a war of aggression based on a pack of lies, seems intent on regaining some of his former status as a moderate, thoughtful and patriotic man. Limpblob and Evil are intent on maintaining the insanely jingoistic, militaristic, and xenophobic characteristics that became so deeply ingrained in the Party of Jesus during the 8 year reign of a Jesus-loving gang of war criminals.

As long as racist, hate mongering drug addicts and immensely evil war criminals continue as the public political face of Jesus in America rational and decent citizens will continue to flee the Party of Jesus in droves. So let’s all hope that Limpblob and Evil continue as the official spokespersons for war crimes, illegal wars, violations of international law and other official Party of Jesus policies.

Of course we do not mind if Republicans pray for a resurgence of their party, since nothing fails like prayer.

Technorati Tags: Cheney, Powell, Colin Powell, Limbaugh, Evil, Republican, Torture, war crimes, Jesus