Party of Jesus

Jenny Sanford, the wife of Party of Jesus South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, has filed for divorce from her husband in order to demonstrate her respect for the Sanctity of Divorce.

The Sanfords are well known for sanctity, Governor Sanford made the news a while back when he moved to protect the Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs with a lady friend in Argentina. He has also demonstrated his support for the Sanctity of Mis-Using Taxpayer Funds by having the state pay for his extra marital trips to Argentina.

Governor Sanford has long spoken out on the importance of Preserving Traditional Marriage and he has done a great job in South Carolina of making sure that marriage is protected from gay couples. After all, if gays could marry they might get married!

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford (Party of Jesus) is a member of the morally superior Jeebus-brand political party formerly known as the Republicans. Because of his moral superiority and oft-stated support for the Sanctity of Marriage it may come as a wee bit of a surprise to learn that this prominent Party of Jesus politician is facing ethics charges, like about 37 of them, for his morally superior extra-marital affair and his morally superior use of taxpayer funds to support his luxurious Party of Jesus lifestyle choice.

It’s fairly obvious that this poor, misunderstood Party of Jesus politician has been working overtime in his pious efforts to support and protect the Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs. We are having a difficult time understanding why so many liberals and New York Jew media types keep picking on this poor man. Anyone can plainly see he is no more or less than any other Party of Jesus politicians, I mean at least he does not go trolling in airport mens rooms or public parks like, well, other Party of Jesus supporters of the Sanctity of Moral Hypocrisy.

Isn’t it about time for the homo, liberal, obamacare, illegal alien President press to stop picking on this poor man? We didn’t think so either
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Not content to let South Carolina and Nevada scoop all of the Family Values headlines Party of Jesus California Assemblyman Mike Duvall went public with his support for the Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs in front of a live microphone back in July. Representing obscenely Republican Orange County the married California Assemblyman decided to rave about the hot sex he had with a pair of ladies in front of a live microphone. When it comes to preserving the Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs there is simply no organization that even comes close to the holy, righteous, sanctimonious Party of Jesus!

Once the scandal hit the press his fellow Party of Jesus legislators turned on him as fast as they might be expected to vote against equal rights for homos.

It appears that one of the hot babes that Duvall was boning was a lobbyist representing a corporation whose business he was charged with regulating. Our guess is that you are just as surprised as we are that a Party of Jesus legislator would be fraternizing in intimate ways with a lobbyist representing a powerful corporation.

Family Values and the Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs are both registered trademarks of the Party of Jesus, a corporate political party officially sanctioned by the best Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy of them all. For some reason Assemblyman Mike Duvall seems to have resigned.

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Technorati Tags: Party of Jesus, Sanctity of Extra Marital Affairs, Family Values, Mike Duvall, Orange County, Republican

Party of Jesus Tennessee Senator Paul Stanley, a Family Values™ anti-gay paragon of Jeebus-brand virtue, who has crusaded to ban gay adoption of children and who once said in public “When you’re married, there’s a commitment there” has resigned his seat in the Tennessee Senate after being exposed as a typical Party of Jesus anti-gay, moralistic, scheming, deceitful, lying hypocrite as well as a victim of attempted blackmail.

We’ve lost count recently on the number of Party of Jesus elected officials who campaign on a holier than fags ticket and then get caught with their dipstick in someone else’s engine block.

If there is a lesson that can be learned from the dozens of Republican sex scandals it is certainly that the people who do the most preaching about other people’s sex lives are the ones who are desperate to conceal something about themselves.

The holier than thou attitude of Party of Jesus fraudsters is really wearing thin among the voters. Even the most gullible of voters, sometimes called Christians, are beginning to realize that there is a clear dichotomy between what Party of Jesus legislators say everyone else should do and what they do themselves.

Stanley had been subjected to blackmail and extortion, and he did contact the police who witnessed a $10,000 payoff made in the darkness of a Tennessee back alley. Although the would-be extortionist was arrested in April of this year, the Party of Jesus holier than thou politician managed to keep the story out of the press until now.

As the Party of Jesus continues digging it’s grave we’ll be happy to stand by with refreshments to revitalize them in their efforts to expose their own deceit. Of course there will still be some voters who support the Party of Jesus because they wish to protect the Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs. We’re sure that Paul Stanley is so very much morally superior to the gay couples he has demonized in the past.

Party of Jesus Family Values politicians, it would seem, are even sleazier than your garden variety heathen politicians.

Let’s all pray for Party of Jesus Tennessee Senator Paul Stanley, after all, nothing fails like prayer.

Technorati Tags: Sanctity of Extra-Marital Affairs, Party of Jesus, Tennessee, Senator Paul Stanley, Family Values, Hypocrisy, anti-gay, moralistic, scheming, deceitful, lying, hypocrite, Republican, wingnut, holier than fags

After years of patiently explaining to a befuddled nation that Family Values® means God Hates Fags, the Party of Jesus has recently introduced a brand new definition for Family Values, now it means conducting an extra-marital affair.

Take the recent case of South Carolina Governor Sanford, a rising star in the sinking party, who last weekend celebrated Father’s Day by ignoring his wife and 4 children to go hang out with his ho in Argentina. Governor Sanford was demonstrating his Party of Jesus Family Values by cheating on his wife and ignoring his young children on a day all about Fatherhood. We appreciate his sacrifice on behalf of the Party of Jesus, a leading provider of moral leadership.

Then of course there was the case just last week of US Senator Ensign (NV-PoJ) who announced from his piety control center in Las Vegas that he too had been practicing genuine Party of Jesus brand Family Values by cheating on his wife while simultaneously cuckolding one of his own male employees, since both the good Senator and his ho were cheating on their own spouses this raises the Piety Points received according to standard Party of Jesus sanctity preservation scoring rules.

If you are a member of the Party of Jesus, or you hope they will let you join, be sure to cheat on your spouse and then embarrass her in front of millions of people with your Party of Jesus public confession.

Help preserve the Sanctity of Extramarital Affairs, vote Party of Jesus!

Chances are God still hates fags though, so if you are gay, no worries.

Technorati Tags: Party of Jesus, Governor Sanford, Senator Ensign, marital affairs, Sanctity of Cheating, Sanctity of Extramarital Affairs, Hypocrisy, Republicans, God Hates Fags