Party of Jesus

A Party of Jesus State Senator from California, known to frequent gay bars in Sacramento, has been arrested on DUI charges after leaving a gay nightclub with another man, that, well you know, wink wink nudge nudge.

State Senator Roy Ashburn has always opposed gay rights. As a member of the Party of Jesus it is his religious duty to badmouth gays at every opportunity and to exploit the fear of homosexuality to win elections.

The mayor of West Sacramento, an out gay man elected by voters because he is honest, stated in front of TV cameras that he often sees anti-gay Senator Ashburn in gay bars in the company of gay men. Praise Jeebus!

Senator Ashburn, who enjoys the company of a certain sort of man, has always been an outspoken opponent of equal rights for gay men. He is a Roman Catholic, he votes against gay rights during the day and visits gay bars in the evenings. During his daytime career as a not-gay-at-all Party of Jesus legislator he has voted against a law recognizing same sex marriages and against a bill honoring Harvey Milk (source).

Until his DUI arrest with another man in the vehicle he had a talk radio program on a Kern County radio station, oddly since his bust the web link for details of his show produces a 404, not found error.

We expect Senator Ashburn will soon hold a press conference and announce “I am not gay, I never have been gay”, after all, he’s a Republican.

Party of Jesus US Congressman Steven King (Iowa -no relation to the author of the same name who is not a moron) has revealed the official Party of Jesus dogma that gay marriage is a purely socialist concept. No doubt his observation is based on the prolific writings of luminaries such as Karl Marx, Lenin, and Stalin promoting the Homosexual Agenda.

Or maybe it was that piece written by Satan recently in which he urged that taxes be raised on anyone opposing gay marriage and all of the proceeds derived should be used to fund elaborate wedding receptions with nearly nude teen boy dancers recruited by ACORN from Christian homeschooling families bursting from the wedding cakes with copies of Chairman Mao’s Red Book tucked in their skimpy thongs.

The Congressman clearly is on the side of Jesus in all matters of socio-economic philosophy since he said:

If there’s a push for a socialist society, a society where the foundations of individual rights and liberties are undermined and everybody is thrown together living collectively off one pot of resources earned by everyone, this is one of the goals they have to go through is same-sex marriage because it has to plow through marriage in order to get to their goal. Not only is it a radical social idea, it is a purely socialist concept in the final analysis.

Apparently socialism is what happens when Jeebus-brand morons don’t get their way, and if that young couple down the street is allowed to get married the ACORN trucks will pull up in front of Representative King’s residence and take away all of his worldly goods because socialism will have won and Christianity will be outlawed. Beware of slopes that are slippery!

Technorati Tags: Steven King, Iowa, Republican, Party of Jesus, Gay Marriage, Civil Rights, Equal Rights, ACORN, Socialism, Stoopit

Recently the obviously insane Oklahoma Party of Jesus legislator Sally Kern sponsored a bigotry is morality proclamation, and in the process tried her dumbass darnedest to make it look like the official policy of the State of Oklahoma.

Being, as they are, pre-selected for extreme gullibility and the fervent desire to grant belief in the absence of evidence, the co-bigots who produce the Baptist Messenger jumped on the bandwagon and published Kern’s memo, which as usual blames Teh Gays for every problem in the known universe, and they published it with the Great Seal of the State of Oklahoma, also making it appear, falsely, that the Governor and the Oklahoma Secretary of State had signed the Kern creed of bigotry and Jeebus-brand intolerance. In fact Governor Brad Henry and Secretary of State Susan Savage are decent human beings with no interest in promoting bigotry and intolerance, and they had nothing to do with this Party of Jesus dogma.

Now the Baptist fundietards have been forced to issue a formal apology for their falsehood.

“In the July 16 Messenger, the graphic representation of the Oklahoma Citizen’s Proclamation for Morality was misleading, indicating that Oklahoma Gov. Brad Henry and Secretary of State Susan Savage had signed the document. This is not the case, and the Messenger staff apologizes for the oversight and error.”

(story)

If they were not fundietards driven by a desperate need to be holier than somebody the Baptists might be able to learn from this experience and avoid Sally Kern in the future like the plague of stoopit that she is, but bigots of a feather do flock together. No doubt Oklahoma will provide us with more proof of the Sanctity of Stupidity fairly soon. Of course there are many decent, rational, educated people in Oklahoma too, like the Governor and the Secretary of State.

Technorati Tags: Sally Kern, Party of Jesus, Bigotry, Oklahoma, Baptist Messenger, Homophobia, Intolerance, Baptists, Apology, Brad Henry, Secretary of State Susan Savage, Fundietards, stoopit, Sanctity of Stupidity

The nominal head of the Republican National Committee (no, not the obese drug addict) Michael Steele has gone on record as questioning whether or not famously Mor[m]on Mitt Romney is sufficiently intolerant to be a Party of Jesus leader.

While filling in as the host of a conservative talk show, Mr. Steele suggested that American voters had questioned Mitt’s commitment to preventing women from having control over their own bodies. Of course you can’t really get more Jeebus-brand intolerant than being a Mor[m]on, but still, whenever one member of the Party of Jesus wishes to score points against another Party of Jesus figure the easiest attack vector is to accuse your opponent of displaying tolerance for the civil rights of women or gays.

Nobody who has looked at the record of Mor[m]on Mitt as Governor of Massachusetts could doubt how much he opposes equal rights for gay people. He constantly whined, cried, and made empty threats about stopping gay marriage in the first US State where it became legal. Certainly Mitt hates equal justice under the law, he is just ineffective at stopping it.

Still, it is very nice to see Party of Jesus operatives attacking each other in public, it sort of makes you want to buy a season pass.

Technorati Tags: Michael Steele, Mitt Romney, Mor[m]on, abortion, gay rights, Massachusetts, Party of Jesus, Republican party

During debate on a bill that would make hate crimes out of violence against gays based on Jeebus-based bigotry like the kind the Party of Jesus peddles at every opportunity, North Carolina Congresswoman Virginia Foxx said out loud that Matthew Shepard was not killed because he was gay.

While Matthew’s mother Judy sat in the audience observing the debate in the US House of Representatives, the pious, faithful, Jeebus-loving Republican asserted that statements to the effect Matthew Shepard was killed as part of a gay bashing were a hoax.

She sure has got Teh Jeebus! What could be more pious than completely denying reality?

Technorati Tags: jeebus, Republican, denial, homophobia, matthew shepard, Judy Shepard, Republican lies

Iowa Party of Jesus candidate for Governor Bob Vander Plaats has pledged to prevent equal rights for all citizens, if he is elected to represent Jesus in the state.

At a rally which God clearly condemned, based on the heavy rain He sent, Vander Plaats laid down his faith-based demands in front of the current Governor. “I don’t want to wait two years,” said Vander Plaats. “I want this governor to issue an executive order that says there will be a stay on all same-sex marriages until the people of Iowa have the right to vote. If I were governor today, I would issue that executive order immediately.”

It may come as a surprise to the would be official representative of America’s most popular fairy tale character, but the people of Iowa already do have the right to vote. And they already have not enshrined Mr Vander Plaats brand of Jeebus-based holy bigotry in their state constitution.

The Party of Jesus is synonymous, across every corner of this great land, with the Sanctity of Bigotry. Whenever the danger of equal rights breaking out for all citizens appears on the horizon, the Party of Jesus is there to whip up bias, homophobia, intolerance, and other religious policies. Through their blessed and devout fear mongering they demonstrate their fundamentalist commitment to intolerance. What remains to be seen is to what extent the sacred faith-based bigotry of piously posing petulant prejudiced persons like Bob Vander Plaats reflects the will of the good and decent people of Iowa, and not just the Christians. There are hundreds of thousands of people in Iowa, wait make that millions, who support the concept of equal justice for all. Christianity is on the decline.

Technorati Tags: Bob Vander Plaats, iowa, gay marriage, same sex marriage, gay rights, equal rights, Sanctity of Bigotry, Christianity, fear mongering, prejudice, homophobia, religion, intolerance, theism, Jesus, fairy tales

A duel of sorts has broken out this week in the Colorado legislature as two Party of Jesus contestants vie with each other to make the most amazingly stupid yet stunningly vicious attacks on innocent Colorado citizens they are paid to represent. Our first contestant for Jeebus-brand asshole of the month is Colorado State Senator Scott Renfroe. For Scott’s entry he went right to the most ludicrous and malicious lie he could imagine about gay people. Scott claimed on February 24th that voting in favor of giving spousal benefits to the partners of gay state employees would be like legalizing murder. Scott hopes his use of Party of Jesus hateful rhetoric against an unpopular minority will endear him to wealthy Caucasian Christian Fundamentalist bigots all over Colorado. At least he knows his constituency. Is he planning to run for higher office? He sure has mastered Jeebus-brand malicious lies!

Also vying for this months extreme hatred for Jeebus award is fellow Party of Jesus state senator Dave Schultheis. Dave decided to use the extreme opposite of compassion for his entry. Talking about innocent babies born to mothers infected with HIV, David showed his extensive knowledge of Jeebus’ spiteful hatred when he suggested they should not approve HIV tests for pregnant women because their babies might not suffer if we did. Considering that Dave does belong to the Party of Jesus, perhaps he might be moved to a more compassionate stance if the bill under consideration included massive tax cuts for the very rich. Perhaps he is considering a move to the nation’s capital? Dave definitely has got Teh Jeebus!

Seems like there are quite a few Christians in the Colorado state legislature. We’re sure that Jeebus just loves their intolerance.

Technorati Tags: Colorado, State Senate, Republicans, Party of Jesus, God’s Love, Compassion, Homophobia, HIV, pregnancy, HIV testing, murder, gays, hatred, intolerance, cruelty, state employees, partner benefits, Christianity, Jeebus

The famously insane Oklahoma State Rep Sally Kern (Party of Jesus) (website) has announced at a conference sponsored by the John Birch Society that she has found a secret copy of the infamous Gay Agenda in a book based on a musical that was, in turn, based on a story by Oscar Wilde.

Kern said the agenda is in a book called “After the Ball,” by Marshall Kirk and Hunter Madsen, a book named after a musical adaptation of Oscar Wilde’s “Lady Windermere’s Fan.” She recounted the bullet points of a secret public relations campaign to have gays accepted by the general public — step by step — with the final goal being not just acceptance of gays by heterosexuals, but eventual triumph of homosexuality as a superior lifestyle.

Among the items in the agenda, Kern said, was getting the public to view homosexuality as a matter of taste, like a preference for strawberry or vanilla ice cream. She quoted the text: “The masses should not be shocked and repelled by premature exposure to homosexual behavior itself.”

“You know,” Kern said. “I’ve done a lot of reading on this. I wish I could describe to you their behavior. I will not because I would be redder than this suit. It’s their behavior that we oppose.

“This theme of equality and freedom is the approach that the homosexuals are using today — totally perverting the true intention of what our Constitution meant. … The homosexuals get it — it’s a struggle between our religious freedoms and their right to do what they want to do.”

Around the banquet hall, Kern’s speech met with applause and calls of “Amen!” from a crowd stoked in a crucible of conspiracy and intrigue. For the whole day, the “Clouds Over America” conference, run and organized by the John Birch Society, held lecture after lecture Jan. 23 and 24 dedicated to explaining their various conspiracy-laden tenets. Here’s one — that a godless secret society, the Illuminati, has been battling against the founding of the United States of America and decent citizens to live in peaceful, worshipful freedom.

(source)

With Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich pretty much out of the picture, and George Warcriminal Bush hiding in Texas from prosecutors, US comedians can use a present like the one delivered by the famously psychotic, gun-toting Kern.

Sally became famous quite some time ago when a speech of hers was posted on YouTube including utterly preposterous claims, including that gays “are recruiting 2 year olds”. This prompted our own long ago YouTube response to Sally.

Technorati Tags: Sally Kern, Party of Jesus, Gay Agenda, recruiting 2 year olds, YouTube, John Birch Society, psychosis, homophobia, Lady Windermere’s Fan, Oscar Wilde, Oklahoma, Marshall Kirk, Hunter Madsen, Clouds Over America

Convicted Party of Jesus bathroom troll and Family Values supporter, former US Senator Larry Craig, has dropped his appeal to overturn his confessed guilt in a bathroom trolling incident at the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport.

The former Senator, who is not gay and never has been gay, previously plead guilty and signed paperwork admitting that he was guilty of activities in a now famous restroom that were interpreted as solicitation to engage in man to man sex. He is not gay. He never has been gay. He simply has a wide stance. And let’s not forget that the former Senator has got teh family values too!

Mr Craig has become a celebrity, and he was even honored by the St Paul Saints baseball team with a Larry Craig Bobblefoot Day. The team said that it was a “tribute to all their toe-tapping friends and fans from around the nation who may ever have set foot in Minneapolis-St. Paul… even for just a change of planes.” This is not to be confused with the Larry Craig Action Figure. In summary, former Senator Larry Craig was guilty when he said he was guilty, he was still guilty when he said he was not guilty and appealed his own admission of his own guilt, and now that he has dropped his I’m not guilty appeal to the Minnesota Supreme Court he is still guilty. And he is not gay. And he never has been gay. He just likes to provide oral service to strangers in public restrooms. Oh, and he has Party of Jesus brand Family Values too. Got it?

Technorati Tags: Family Values, Larry Craig, not gay, never has been gay, Wide Stance, Party of Jesus, guilty

Famous Party of Jesus Sexual Purity Tester and Anti-Blowjob campaigner Kenneth Starr has taken the starring role in the campaign to overturn my marriage, which obviously makes the Baby Jesus cry just as much as it would if I was a US President receiving oral sex in the Oval Office.

You may remember Starr from an earlier century in which he helped bring decency and morality back to the White House after we had suffered through 8 years of a President that did not order torture or invade foreign countries based on a pack of lies. His heroic and obsessive smear campaign against President Clinton endeared him forever in the hearts of witch hunt loving Fundamentalist Christians.

And now it is my turn to be the witch and enjoy the full slime and sleaze that will be sent my way from this devout Christian lawyer.

Starr has taken on the STARRing role in a new lawsuit brought by a coalition of Jesus-brand idiots to overturn my marriage and the marriages of about 18,000 other California same-sex couples. Of course it is obviously necessary for Starr to attack my Family’s Values since my marriage is harming him by

Technorati Tags: Kenneth Starr, Proposition H8, California, Same-sex Marriage, homophobia, idiotic religions, stupid religions, moronic religions, extremely stupid religions, ant-blowjob, sexual purity test