Party of Jesus

Party of Jesus US Congressman Steven King (Iowa -no relation to the author of the same name who is not a moron) has revealed the official Party of Jesus dogma that gay marriage is a purely socialist concept. No doubt his observation is based on the prolific writings of luminaries such as Karl Marx, Lenin, and Stalin promoting the Homosexual Agenda.

Or maybe it was that piece written by Satan recently in which he urged that taxes be raised on anyone opposing gay marriage and all of the proceeds derived should be used to fund elaborate wedding receptions with nearly nude teen boy dancers recruited by ACORN from Christian homeschooling families bursting from the wedding cakes with copies of Chairman Mao's Red Book tucked in their skimpy thongs.

The Congressman clearly is on the side of Jesus in all matters of socio-economic philosophy since he said:

If there’s a push for a socialist society, a society where the foundations of individual rights and liberties are undermined and everybody is thrown together living collectively off one pot of resources earned by everyone, this is one of the goals they have to go through is same-sex marriage because it has to plow through marriage in order to get to their goal. Not only is it a radical social idea, it is a purely socialist concept in the final analysis.

Apparently socialism is what happens when Jeebus-brand morons don't get their way, and if that young couple down the street is allowed to get married the ACORN trucks will pull up in front of Representative King's residence and take away all of his worldly goods because socialism will have won and Christianity will be outlawed. Beware of slopes that are slippery!

Technorati Tags: Steven King, Iowa, Republican, Party of Jesus, Gay Marriage, Civil Rights, Equal Rights, ACORN, Socialism, Stoopit

The Party of Jesus, through their holy leader Sarah Palin, has exposed the sooper seekrit plans of Barack Obama to impose mandatory death panels on anyone stupid enough to believe anything Sarah Palin has to say.

In a special reveal of Party of Jesus dogma, Sarah Palin has exposed the brutal plans of our known Negro leader to require anyone over the age of 85, or anyone registered as a Republican, to submit to panels that will decide if they meet the mandatory death requirements.

We were lucky enough to get a sneak peek at the Death Panel component of the new health care bill. See if you qualify for the mandatory death policy.

Anyone who is:

1. A Known, practicing Republican
2. Opposed to gay marriage
3. Owner of a small business
4. Fundamentalist Christian
5. Health insurance executive
6. Opposed to government bailouts

If you match only 1 of the criteria above you will be placed on the Death Panel Standby List. This list is only used if the other criteria fail to meet the Kenyan Terr'ist Negro Non-Citizen Leader's minimum death quota. Odds are you might be OK.

If you match up with any 2 of the criteria listed above you will be required to appear before your local Democratic Party Death Panel. Bring you Last Will and Testament with you, and please select an undertaker before you appear for your interview.

Should you happen to match more than 2 of the criteria listed above you will be sent to a US naval base located in a warm climate, kept in a cell without legal representation, and forced to listen to Rush Limbaugh broadcasts 24/7. Suicide assistance councilors will be available.

Technorati Tags: Palin, Death Panels, Death Camps, Birthers, Kenya, sooper seekrit

Recently the obviously insane Oklahoma Party of Jesus legislator Sally Kern sponsored a bigotry is morality proclamation, and in the process tried her dumbass darnedest to make it look like the official policy of the State of Oklahoma.

Being, as they are, pre-selected for extreme gullibility and the fervent desire to grant belief in the absence of evidence, the co-bigots who produce the Baptist Messenger jumped on the bandwagon and published Kern's memo, which as usual blames Teh Gays for every problem in the known universe, and they published it with the Great Seal of the State of Oklahoma, also making it appear, falsely, that the Governor and the Oklahoma Secretary of State had signed the Kern creed of bigotry and Jeebus-brand intolerance. In fact Governor Brad Henry and Secretary of State Susan Savage are decent human beings with no interest in promoting bigotry and intolerance, and they had nothing to do with this Party of Jesus dogma.

Now the Baptist fundietards have been forced to issue a formal apology for their falsehood.

"In the July 16 Messenger, the graphic representation of the Oklahoma Citizen's Proclamation for Morality was misleading, indicating that Oklahoma Gov. Brad Henry and Secretary of State Susan Savage had signed the document. This is not the case, and the Messenger staff apologizes for the oversight and error."

(story)

If they were not fundietards driven by a desperate need to be holier than somebody the Baptists might be able to learn from this experience and avoid Sally Kern in the future like the plague of stoopit that she is, but bigots of a feather do flock together. No doubt Oklahoma will provide us with more proof of the Sanctity of Stupidity fairly soon. Of course there are many decent, rational, educated people in Oklahoma too, like the Governor and the Secretary of State.

Technorati Tags: Sally Kern, Party of Jesus, Bigotry, Oklahoma, Baptist Messenger, Homophobia, Intolerance, Baptists, Apology, Brad Henry, Secretary of State Susan Savage, Fundietards, stoopit, Sanctity of Stupidity

Former US Secretary of State and Iraq War Salesman Colin Powell has gone on the attack against the racist, sexist, obese drug addict Rush Limpblob and former Vice President Darth Evil.

Mr. Powell, once a highly respected man before he joined the conspiracy to persuade the American people to support a war of aggression based on a pack of lies, seems intent on regaining some of his former status as a moderate, thoughtful and patriotic man. Limpblob and Evil are intent on maintaining the insanely jingoistic, militaristic, and xenophobic characteristics that became so deeply ingrained in the Party of Jesus during the 8 year reign of a Jesus-loving gang of war criminals.

As long as racist, hate mongering drug addicts and immensely evil war criminals continue as the public political face of Jesus in America rational and decent citizens will continue to flee the Party of Jesus in droves. So let's all hope that Limpblob and Evil continue as the official spokespersons for war crimes, illegal wars, violations of international law and other official Party of Jesus policies.

Of course we do not mind if Republicans pray for a resurgence of their party, since nothing fails like prayer.

Technorati Tags: Cheney, Powell, Colin Powell, Limbaugh, Evil, Republican, Torture, war crimes, Jesus

About 20 years ago the Republican Party entered into the sacrament of Holy Marriage with the Religious Right, it was at this time that they became, for all practical purposes, the Party of Jesus. Today a very high percentage of elected Party of Jesus legislators are actively Bible thumping idiots, for example Sally Kern in Oklahoma and Michele Bachmann in Minnesota. These people are so completely driven by their Jeebus-brand Sanctity of Bigotry that they do not even realize how obvious is their insanity to rational, normal people.

More and more, as issues relating to civil rights and immigration are splashed across the headlines, the ultra-right wing loonies in the Party of Jesus open their mouths and destroy even more of the tiny bit of credibility still maintained by their wingnut political organization.

Of course the real, actual agenda of the Party of Jesus has always been to steal from the poor and give to the rich. Back, oh so many years ago, when they entered into a sacred union with the fundietards of America, the billionaires who actually run the party figured it would be great to sucker in a bunch of religious bigots who had already demonstrated their high degree of gullibility by ordering their lives around an ancient book of scrolls from a warring, genocidal, primitive middle-eastern tribe.

Time after time mega-rich Party of Jesus candidates have spooned out the bigotry during their campaigns, but failed to deliver the fag crushing blows they promised once they were elected. These are the original Republicans, the billionaires and the tools of the billionaires.

What the über-greedy, wealthy, traditional Republicans failed to anticipate was the way the bigots for Jeebus would infiltrate their organization and force it to become a political group of the bigots, by the bigots, and for the Holy Bigot Warriors of Jeebus.

Now we have a situation where it has become perfectly obvious to the rational majority of Americans that the Party of Jesus is really the Party of Nutjobs. And so, we believe, it is the end result of the marriage between billionaire manipulators and bigoted fools that has brought the Party of Jesus to its present day crisis. Perhaps they are reaping as they have sown.

Technorati Tags: Sally Kern, Michele Bachmann, Party of Jesus, Sanctity of Bigotry, Billionaires, wingnuts, bigotry, Jesus

During debate on a bill that would make hate crimes out of violence against gays based on Jeebus-based bigotry like the kind the Party of Jesus peddles at every opportunity, North Carolina Congresswoman Virginia Foxx said out loud that Matthew Shepard was not killed because he was gay.

While Matthew's mother Judy sat in the audience observing the debate in the US House of Representatives, the pious, faithful, Jeebus-loving Republican asserted that statements to the effect Matthew Shepard was killed as part of a gay bashing were a hoax.

She sure has got Teh Jeebus! What could be more pious than completely denying reality?

Technorati Tags: jeebus, Republican, denial, homophobia, matthew shepard, Judy Shepard, Republican lies

Reality continues its relentless campaign of conflict with nearly everything that batshit crazy Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachman (Party of Jesus) says. Among her most recent pearls of Republican dogmatic anti-wisdom are such absolute ungems as:

• This country is running out of rich people (perhaps because of poor Party of Jesus vote counts?)
• ACORN is under federal indictment for voter fraud, the stimulus bill nevertheless gives ACORN $5 billion. (In the world of objective reality, ACORN is not under federal indictment and is not mentioned in the stimulus bill at all.)
• Many members of Congress have a real aversion to capitalism. (probably they are all Demoncrats)
• the stimulus bill includes a measure to create a "rationing board" for health care, and after the bill becomes law, "your doctor will no longer be able to make your healthcare decisions with you." (Doctors are often able to treat paranoia these days)

Truly the Party of Jesus has now fully completed its transition into the party of Fundamentalist Nutjobs for Jeebus.

Technorati Tags: Michele Bachmann, Batshit Crazy, Party of Jesus, wingnut, paranoia, Republican, Minnesota

Iowa Party of Jesus candidate for Governor Bob Vander Plaats has pledged to prevent equal rights for all citizens, if he is elected to represent Jesus in the state.

At a rally which God clearly condemned, based on the heavy rain He sent, Vander Plaats laid down his faith-based demands in front of the current Governor. "I don't want to wait two years," said Vander Plaats. "I want this governor to issue an executive order that says there will be a stay on all same-sex marriages until the people of Iowa have the right to vote. If I were governor today, I would issue that executive order immediately."

It may come as a surprise to the would be official representative of America's most popular fairy tale character, but the people of Iowa already do have the right to vote. And they already have not enshrined Mr Vander Plaats brand of Jeebus-based holy bigotry in their state constitution.

The Party of Jesus is synonymous, across every corner of this great land, with the Sanctity of Bigotry. Whenever the danger of equal rights breaking out for all citizens appears on the horizon, the Party of Jesus is there to whip up bias, homophobia, intolerance, and other religious policies. Through their blessed and devout fear mongering they demonstrate their fundamentalist commitment to intolerance. What remains to be seen is to what extent the sacred faith-based bigotry of piously posing petulant prejudiced persons like Bob Vander Plaats reflects the will of the good and decent people of Iowa, and not just the Christians. There are hundreds of thousands of people in Iowa, wait make that millions, who support the concept of equal justice for all. Christianity is on the decline.

Technorati Tags: Bob Vander Plaats, iowa, gay marriage, same sex marriage, gay rights, equal rights, Sanctity of Bigotry, Christianity, fear mongering, prejudice, homophobia, religion, intolerance, theism, Jesus, fairy tales

A duel of sorts has broken out this week in the Colorado legislature as two Party of Jesus contestants vie with each other to make the most amazingly stupid yet stunningly vicious attacks on innocent Colorado citizens they are paid to represent. Our first contestant for Jeebus-brand asshole of the month is Colorado State Senator Scott Renfroe. For Scott's entry he went right to the most ludicrous and malicious lie he could imagine about gay people. Scott claimed on February 24th that voting in favor of giving spousal benefits to the partners of gay state employees would be like legalizing murder. Scott hopes his use of Party of Jesus hateful rhetoric against an unpopular minority will endear him to wealthy Caucasian Christian Fundamentalist bigots all over Colorado. At least he knows his constituency. Is he planning to run for higher office? He sure has mastered Jeebus-brand malicious lies!

Also vying for this months extreme hatred for Jeebus award is fellow Party of Jesus state senator Dave Schultheis. Dave decided to use the extreme opposite of compassion for his entry. Talking about innocent babies born to mothers infected with HIV, David showed his extensive knowledge of Jeebus' spiteful hatred when he suggested they should not approve HIV tests for pregnant women because their babies might not suffer if we did. Considering that Dave does belong to the Party of Jesus, perhaps he might be moved to a more compassionate stance if the bill under consideration included massive tax cuts for the very rich. Perhaps he is considering a move to the nation's capital? Dave definitely has got Teh Jeebus!

Seems like there are quite a few Christians in the Colorado state legislature. We're sure that Jeebus just loves their intolerance.

Technorati Tags: Colorado, State Senate, Republicans, Party of Jesus, God's Love, Compassion, Homophobia, HIV, pregnancy, HIV testing, murder, gays, hatred, intolerance, cruelty, state employees, partner benefits, Christianity, Jeebus

Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachman (Party of Jesus) has once again engaged in a no holds barred battle against her arch-enemy: Reality. In another psychotic rant far enough removed from reality to be worthy of drug addict Rush Limpblob, she complained today that the recent economic stimulus bill provided 5 billion dollars for the organization Acorn, which she stated is under Federal indictment.

In the real world Acorn is not under indictment and the stimulus bill does not provide any money at all to Acorn.

The extremely Jesus-brand Congresswoman also complained that many members of Congress have “a real aversion to capitalism.”

The Fundamentalist intellectual giant also claimed that the recovery package is part of a Democratic conspiracy to “direct” funding away from Republican districts, so Democratic districts can “suck up” all federal funds. Bachmann doesn’t think this will work because, as she put it, “We’re running out of rich people in this country.”

How just exactly like a Party of Jesus legislator to be worried about wealthy people. She does seem to know who her constituents are.

Technorati Tags: Michele Bachman, Minnesota, Acorn, lunatic, Jeebus, Fundamentalist, Obama, recovery bill