Party of Jesus

After struggling for years against Satanic causes like separation of Church and State, and equal rights for gay people, a leading Party of Jesus Hatemonger succumbed to Satanic forces at work in his fat clogged arteries. The dinosaurs may not be extinct, but their number just decreased by one.

Jerry Falwell was well known as a shining example of True Intolerance Brand Christianity, as practiced by all Party of Jesus faithful in good standing. If he did not like somebody, he never hesitated to condemn them to hell, blame them for disasters, or promote legislation to deny them civil rights. In fact, brother Falwell was so devout that his hatred even extended to fictional characters in children’s tales.

Any man with that much hatred and intolerance was certainly pre-destined to be a great leader in the Party of Jesus. He will be sorely missed by bigots and homophobes everywhere.

Technorati Tags: party of Jesus, ethics, hitchens, jerry falwell, death, heart attack

In a demonic bid to make the Baby Jesus cry, prosecutors in Alaska have charged 3 Party of Jesus leaders with minor offenses such as extortion, attempted extortion, bribery, conspiracy, and wire or mail fraud. It is obvious that Satan must have possessed these prosecutors, otherwise they would never even consider filing charges against famous Party of Jesus legislators. Two of the innocent victims, whose freedom to express their Christian Party of Jesus Values is clearly under attack, are current Alaska legislators, and one is a former legislator who is still in good standing with the Party of Jesus because of his pious opposition to the homo-agenda prosecutions of innocent Christians.

Satan claims they accepted bribes — including cash and a job offer in Barbados for one man — to support legislation favorable to an oil services company. What could be more preposterous than a claim that a member of the Party of Jesus would enter into a secret conspiracy to promote the interests of oil companies?

Rep. Victor Kohring, a Party of Jesus Christian from Wasilla, was charged with extortion, attempted extortion, bribery and conspiracy, according to a federal grand jury indictment unsealed Friday.

Pete Kott of Eagle River and Bruce Weyhrauch of Juneau, both Party of Jesus Christians, pleaded not guilty to four counts including extortion, bribery and wire or mail fraud in trying to help the company, which has not been named.

It sounds like Cardinal Gonzales might have to forget his reasons for firing a few more US Attorneys. The nerve of some people, attacking the Party of Jesus!

Technorati Tags: Party of Jesus, extortion, attempted extortion, bribery, conspiracy, wire fraud, mail fraud, corruption, who would Jesus extort, Alberto Gonzales, Victor Kohring, Pete Kott , Bruce Weyhrauch

On May 1, 2007 Party of Jesus faithful gathered nationwide to celebrate the 4 year anniversary of our Total Victory over the forces of evil that placed all that oil underneath the heathen sands of Iraq. We liberated all of their oil wells, and did away with those pesky oil meters.

In celebration of Jesus’ great victory against the unarmed citizens of Iraq, the poet Steven Connell offers this video prayer of thanksgiving to Our Glorious Christian Leader.

No women or children were harmed in posting this blog entry.

Technorati Tags: Mission Accomplished, Iraq War, oil meters, stolen oil, pack of lies, imperialism, Party of Jesus, anniversary, end war