California Jesus Party Reports Extreme Panty Wadding
California members of the Party of Jesus are reporting epidemic levels of panties getting all wadded up in a bunch since the California State Assembly once again passed a bill that would give equal rights to gay people if it were to become law.
Overnight the levels of baseless fear, ludicrous arguments, and bible based bashing has soared in California Jeebustarian circles. If gay people can get married the value of property owned by Christians will decline, all Christian workers will be forced to take pay cuts, and the first born child of every Christian family will be required by law to adopt the fictional Homosexual Lifestyle.
Of course in reality there is no such thing as an Homosexual Lifestyle. Some homosexuals operate networks of websites intended to ridicule religion, while other homosexuals drive taxicabs, review fine wines, and enjoy careers as famous movie actors deeply embedded in small rooms originally designed to store clothing. Some homosexual persons try to conceal their homosexuality by taking up careers opposing the rights of gay people, we call these people names like Republican Legislator or TV Evangelist.
In addition, Christians will not be forced to take paycuts, their property values will not decline, and their children will not be required to select an unexpected sexual orientation, although some of them will discover that they are gay.
The supposed harm that Jesus-afflicted faithful fear is completely imaginary and derived entirely from their own internal anxieties about sex. These folks cherry pick an ancient tribal scroll written by malnourished madmen in order to justify the bigotry that pre-exists in their poorly socialized minds.
Of course with our Party of Jesus Governator still in office here in California this legislation has a life expectancy of about 4 days. Remember, if the courts order equality for queers, then it is a matter for the legislature to decide. If the legislature orders equality for queers, then it is a matter for the voters to decide. But if the voters choose equality for queers, it clearly should be decided by the courts.
If it were not for bigotry, there would be little requirement for religion.
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