Party of Jesus

We've created a Larry Craig Video site for your entertainment. You'll get great videos like this one:

http://larrycraigvideo.com/

Senator Larry Craig (Party of Jesus - Idaho) has entered a guilty plea to charges he tried to pickup a male police officer in the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. As a Party of Jesus legislator in good standing he is, of course, vehemently opposed to gay rights.

He was, until reality hit the fan today, part of the uber-homophobe for Jesus Mitt Romney presidential campaign. Mitt, of course, is the ranking homophobe in the Party of Jesus.

As a Party of Jesus hypocrite homophobe liar he is now denying the facts of the matter, or else he is entering sexual rehab, but he is not gay and he did not do it. He isn't gay, he didn't do it, and he is going into rehab. Somebody needs to hire this guy a new spin doctor!

The librul New York City press is loving this story.

Technorati Tags: Larry Craig, Party of Jesus, homophobe, hypocrite, closet case, Denial, hypocrisy, deceit, scandal

The librul homo agenda New York City media has won their long battle to defeat the pious Christian enforcement arm of Our Glorious Christian Leader's faith-based enhanced prisoner interrogation program. Although he faithfully executed his responsibility to forget everything he had covered up, and he wrote some of the most amusing legal opinions ever drafted outside of a junior high school Bible study group comedy project, Alberto Torture Time Gonzales is now history, except for the ongoing investigations and the investigations that have not started yet, and maybe a few war crimes trials.

He did more to promote the human rights of wealthy campaign contributors, professional water boarders, and huge corporations making enormous war profits than any slimeball in Justice department history. He will be warmly remembered on the Fox News Channel and in churches everywhere.

He single handedly defeated quaint old notions like the Nuremberg principles, the Geneva Conventions, and a number of useless old vestigial remnants of the outmoded US Constitution.

Thanks to good old Torture Time, as we used to lovingly call him, federal prosecutors no longer need to waste their time with trivia like search warrants, prisoner's rights, or ancient silliness like Habeus Corpus. This leaves more time for the new, improved Jesus-brand Federal prosecutors to get rid of the laughable felony charges brought almost daily against Party of Jesus legislators and their fellow travelers all around the country.

Besides, that Habeus Corpus thing sounds like Latin or one of those other foreigner languages. We don't need no stinking foreigner languages! If English was good enough for Jesus (look at your Bible- it's in English isn't it?) then it is good enough for the Party of Jesus.

He created the doctrine of Our Glorious Christian Leader is not bound by international law, he redefined torture as only the stuff we don't admit doing, he fired librul homo federal district attorneys for prosecuting Party of Jesus faithful, and he slept every night like a baby because his nightly electric shock treatments meant that every day he woke up with a brand new case of total amnesia.

For the next 100 years every time an American citizen hears the words "I'm sorry Senator but I can't recall", "The President is not bound by that law", or "that's not actually torture" they'll certainly smile and remember one of the most important pro-Jesus leaders of the 21st century. Let's hope that all of the Christian love, honesty and hard work he has spread comes back to him a thousand fold.

Later today the Justice Department will announce the placement of an Alberto Torture Time Gonzales memorial water board at the new prisoners welcome center and entertainment complex in Guantanamo Bay.

He might not have had the memory of an elephant, but he sure produced some enormous piles of excrement. Alberto, we hardly knew yee.

Technorati Tags: Torture, Gonzales, Department of Justice, Nuremberg Principles, Geneva Convention, Habeus Corpus, rights, interrogation, Constitution, memory, recall, Our Glorious Christian Leader

A judge in Ohio who was presiding over an election fraud trial has accused a Party of Jesus legislator of participating in petition signature fraud in a Christian campaign promoting God's Holy Hatred of Homos. Is it wrong to conduct election fraud when it is being done to keep the Baby Jesus from crying?

Ohio state representative Tom Brinkman is a member in good standing of the Party of Jesus. He knows how to use the Fear of a Queer Planet to win elections, although we have no reason to believe he has received instructions directly from Karl Rove. He also knows how to use deceit in the name of a political campaign, as is evidenced by his pious group Equal Rights Not Special Rights. This choice of a name for his recent hatemongering political venture plays on the popular Party of Jesus fiction that gay people want rights which others do not have.

In fact it is exactly Equal Rights that those gol darn homos keep trying to get, but who would vote against equal rights?

Brinkman hired a professional signature acquisition firm in an effort to promote further righteous, holy, persecution of Ohio faggots and dykes. But a meddling activist judge made a big deal about a few hundred intentionally fraudulent signatures. Is a crime still a crime if it is done for Jesus?

The Satanic activist judge hearing the case was obviously acting in an effort to destroy the Sanctity of Marriage and promote the Homosexual Agenda.

Hamilton County Common Pleas Judge Robert Ruehlman reiterated Monday what he said last month when Lois Mingo and Precilla Ward pleaded guilty to charges of election falsification: that state Rep. Tom Brinkman, who headed up the petition drive for the unsuccessful effort last year to repeal the city’s gay rights ordinance, should be charged.

“To cheat on petitions in an election is to really rob people of freedom. It’s the foundation of democracy,” Ruehlman told the women. “You have to pay for that.”

Ruehlman, supposedly a member of the Party of Jesus himself, went on to say: “I still think real culprit is Rep. Brinkman.” But if this activist homo loving judge is really a member of the Party of Jesus, why didn't he sign this anti-gay measure? Something smells funny in Ohio, and I don't mean just Ohio.

“I know politics,” Ruehlman said. “Somehow (Brinkman) falls between the cracks and is not prosecuted… the guy in power is the one who should have been indicted.”

Representative Brinkman, beloved of Jesus from Mount Lookout, Ohio, was not in court Monday.

When contacted by the Enquirer, Brinkman said “no comment” and hung up.

Hamilton County Prosecutor Joe Deters, also a member of the Party of Jesus, previously said Brinkman’s conduct was in a “gray area” and was not a clear-cut violation (wink-wink, nudge-nudge, say no more).

Technorati Tags: Party of Jesus, homos, homosexual agenda, equal righgts, gay rights, special rights, election fraud, Ohio, Tom Brinkman

Our Glorious Christian Leader has moved to close legal loopholes that were being exploited by poor people to get free medical care for their brat trailer park spawn. Any member of the Party of Jesus in good standing knows that the only use for poor people is as consumers of Spaghetti-Os and toilet paper.

Unlike orders for fighter jets, land mines, cluster bombs, and other utilities used to spread democracy, medical care for poor people is difficult to direct financially to Party of Jesus allied corporations. Obviously Jesus wants the Party of Jesus faithful to prosper, so any fool can see that this health care for poor children thing is directly opposed to Christianity and must be terminated.

Only a Demoncrat would care about health care for poor people, since poverty for all is a major component of the Demoncrat Agenda, along with promoting terr'ism and forced lesbianism in our nation's schools. That's why the Demoncrats support this so-called State Children's Health Insurance Program.

This satanic legislation that has been sapping the resources of God-Fearing Party of Jesus faithful was created during a Demoncratic administration. Obviously Our Glorious Christian Leader would have vetoed this disgusting legislation instantly. We can't tolerate having federal funds meant for weapons, death, destruction and other US exports being redirected to health care for a bunch of brat poor children, many of whom are not even Caucasian.

This Satanic legislation was created in 1997 to help children whose useless poor families couldn't afford to buy insurance from righteous Party of Jesus-contributing insurance companies but didn't qualify for Medicaid (another Demoncrat scheme to waste government money on old people and poor people), the program -- called S-CHIP, appeared ready to expand recently when the Demoncrat-controlled U.S. Congress passed legislation to broaden its availability. Fortunately Our Glorious Christian Leader nipped this one in the bud.

Being a compassionate conservative doesn't come free, it requires constant vigilance against programs to drain taxpayer funds away from true patriotic places to spend our money, like Halliburton, Lockheed Martin, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, and Boeing. Thank goodness that Our Glorious Christian Leader acted quickly to stem this disgraceful abuse of the Federal budget.

Technorati Tags: S-CHIP, Our Glorious Christian Leader, Party of Jesus, Demoncrats, poor people, child care, poverty, State Children's Health Insurance Program

Satan continues to reveal his deep-seated animosity for the Party of Jesus. This time he is using the Liberal Media to spread dirty sex allegations against the venerable world-wide leader of the Young Republicans, a Christian prayer group that focuses on gay bashings and invading foreign countries based on a pack of lies for huge corporate profits. Well, the former leader of the Young Republicans.

The newly-elected president of the Young Republican National Federation (a Party of Jesus subsidiary), Glenn Murphy, has stepped down as the group's president less than a month after being elected to the post.

Murphy, who also serves as chairman of the Clark Co. Republicans, has been viewed as a rising star in the Indiana and national GOP. His consulting firm has advised congressional candidates on how to use homophobia to win elections (for Jesus, of course).

In fact he is very fond of using divisive issues, such as gay marriage, to promote his candidates. Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels once said of Murphy: "Glenn Murphy is one of the most well-respected Republican leaders in Indiana. [NOTE: well respected for his deep seated self-hatred, denial, and hypocrisy - all Party of Jesus morality positions on sexual issues]

Satan even produced a police report accusing Murphy of sexually assaulting a buff, hot, sleeping young guy on July 29, 2007, while he [the victim] was sleeping.

The hot, sexy, nubile 22-year-old guy woke up in the Jeffersonville, Indiana home of his sister following a Young Republican party the two men had attended. Both men were urged to spend the night at her home because of the amount of alcohol they had consumed during the party. The victim woke up in the morning to find Murphy performing oral sex on him according to the report.

When the victim asked Murphy what he was doing, he responded: "He was holding his dick with one hand and sucking my dick with his mouth." The victim then pushed Murphy away, gathered his personal belongings and left. Murphy was later confronted with the charges by the victim's sister.

The sister says Murphy admitted to her that he performed the sex act on her brother. Taking Down Words reports Murphy is being investigated for committing criminal deviate conduct, a Class B felony.

The police report also notes that Murphy was accused of committing a very similar act on another man back in 1998. It is unclear why Murphy was not prosecuted for the 1998 incident. (wink, wink, Republican prosecutor, nudge, nudge)

This incident comes on the heels of a case in Florida last month in which a Party of Jesus legislator was charged with propositioning an undercover cop for gay sex for $$$ in a public restroom.

Clearly Satan has been hard at work conspiring with the Demoncrats and the Liberal Media News to discredit the righteous anti-gay wedge issue attack strategy that has brought so many Party of Jesus candidates to office and so many billions to the euphemistically named Defense Department and it's Republican-owned war profiteering suppliers.

Murphy well knows the importance of keeping the population in a constant state of gay panic in order to distract them from illegal imperialist invasions. Like other Party of Jesus members he has personally profited through his consulting firm by selling the fear of a queer planet.

We don't understand all of the fuss about this. What did this sexy young 22 year old guy expect when he went to sleep in the same room as a known, practicing Republican? After all, if Jesus has authorized the Party of Jesus to rape oil-rich heathen lands, what's the big deal about raping a few cute young guys too? At least Glenn Murphy has the decency to spread vicious lies about gay people when he is not busy raping guys.

In the final analysis, if gay bashing hypocritical manipulative deceitful closet case rapist liars are good enough for Jesus, they're good enough for the Party of Jesus too!

Technorati Tags: Republican Party, Young Republicans, Glenn Murphy, Party of Jesus, Hypocrisy, Deception, Homophobia, rape, sodomy, sexual assault, penis, oral sex, sooper-seekit Republican blow jobs