Party of Jesus

Due to his busy campaign schedule and a tight pair of magic underwear that may have shrunk the night before when he wore them in the shower, Magic Underwear Mitt became a wee bit confused while speaking to a crowd in South Carolina. As a result he attributed a recent videotape from Osama bin Laden to his Demoncratic opponent Barack Obama.

The leading homophobe in the Party of Jesus hate-mongers for President field actually attributed the message in the recent terr’ist video to Barack Obama, and then proceeded to conflate the terr’ist message with the policies of the Demoncratic party.

Magic Panties Mitt, who believes Jesus visited North America, was criticising the foreign and economic policies of Mr Obama and other Demoncratic challengers for the White House when he seamlessly moved on to discuss a recent tape, apparently from Bin Laden, calling on Islamists in Iraq to unite.

“Actually, just look at what Osama – Barack Obama – said just yesterday. Barack Obama, calling on radicals, jihadists of all different types, to come together in Iraq. That is the battlefield. … It’s almost as if the Democratic contenders for president are living in fantasyland. Their idea for jihad is to retreat, and their idea for the economy is to also retreat. And in my view, both efforts are wrongheaded.” (source)

It is obvious enough that anybody who thinks they will get their own planet to rule as a God when they are alive while being dead is a real Mor[m]on, but this brings a whole new level to campaign idiocy not seen since Our Glorious Christian Leader stole the Presidency in 2000 and again in 2004.

Just remember people, when this asshat gets elected they’ll still be accepting political refugees in Canada. Just bring lots of warm clothes.

Technorati Tags: Barack Obama, Mormon, Magic Underwear, Mitt Romney, fucking idiot, Party of Jesus, homophobia, campaign, South Carolina, Osama bin Laden, Jesus in North America, Iraq

The Demoncratic former US President, Jimmy Carter is well known for a faux style of Christianity that includes building houses for the poor and efforts to promote peace. Instead of bombing oil-rich countries and then invading them like Our Glorious Christian Leader, he tries to end armed struggles. And instead of protecting the rights of wealthy arms merchants and filthy rich oil magnates, President Carter is concerned for the less fortunate. He hardly ever condemns gays either. What is up with this guy?

When you consider the style of faux Christianity displayed by this Demoncrat ex-President it is no wonder he would go public with a story about the US torturing prisoners, but notice that he fails to mention that none of these tortured prisoners are Christians. I mean, sure, we do not torture registered Republicans that drive Cadillac SUVs to church on Sunday, the people we torture are just people we do not like. And if we do not like them, then it is obvious that they are bad people. And besides, these people are either foreigners or liberals, so what is all of the fuss about? Let’s hope that if Alberto Torture Time Gonzales was still the Attorney General he would be rolling over in his grave.

It is no surprise that President Carter is not a member of the Party of Jesus.

Technorati Tags: Our Glorious Christian Leader, Jesus, Demoncrat, Jimmy Carter, Former President, Torture, Alberto Torture Time Gonzales, Hunt Oil, Cadillac, church

A group known as the Log Cabin Republicans, gay men that seem to value war profits over their own personal dignity, has started open warfare in Iowa against the champion of Magic Underwear and homophobia, Mitt Romney. Soon we’ll see if Mitt’s Sooper-Seekrit panties are able to protect him from historical facts.

When Magic Underwear Mitt was running for Governor of Massachusetts he knew there were lots of libruls there that did not approve of using the existence of gay people as a wedge issue to distract voters from real issues. Mitt was very forthcoming in making promises that he would not campaign against equal rights for gays. Of course, as a member of the Party of Jesus, Mitt was lying through his teeth. As soon as he was elected Governor in Massachusetts he immediately started whining and crying about gay people having the same rights as Christians do.

But now Magic Panties Guy is desperate to convince the Fundy Faction that he has always hated gay rights more than anybody, especially Mike Huckabee. And to get the support of TV evangelists and other homophobes Mitt is claiming that he always, always, always hated equal rights for gay people. Honest.

So the Log Cabin faction of the Party of Jesus is now airing TV commercials in Iowa, publishing earlier comments by Mitt in which he promised not to let his fairy-tale based personal bigotry affect his public service. Mitt claimed, in order to get elected in a blue state, that he would set aside his religious delusions once he was elected.

It seems the strategy of the Gays for Jesus-Based Self Loathing is to embarass Magic Undies Mitt and hurt his standing among homophobe fundies. But to what end? So that a different anti-gay homophobic hypocrite will oppress them for 4 years instead of Mister Magic Panties? We need more details on the end game here. It seems any gay person that supports the Party of Jesus has some soul searching they ought to do.

Technorati Tags: Mitt Romney, Log Cabin Republicans, Magic Underwear, Massachusetts, Iowa, Gay Marriage, Party of Jesus