Party of Jesus

In an interview with the Muslim magazine Emel, the Archbishop of Canterbury, His Eminence Rowan Williams, has stated that the United States of America, a Party of Jesus subsidiary, has “lost the moral high ground.”
Just because we invaded Iraq based on a pack of lies, and just because the conspiracy to persuade American citizens that Saddam Bin Laden was planning to nuke every kindergarten in America using a fleet of “manned and unmanned aerial vehicles” which never existed, along with the nukular weapons that never existed, along with the nukular research program that never existed, along with the ties to terr’ism that never existed, along with the WMDs that never existed, along with the real reasons for invading Iraq that were never stated, was a clear violation of international law and meets the legal definition of a war crime in article 6 of the Nuremberg Principles; just because of all of these illegal, unethical, immoral and evil things done by Our Glorious Christian Leader, Mr Williams says we have lost the moral high ground. Man, what do some of these people want?

I mean heck, sure the Party of Jesus brought us this war, and sure there are a million dead people in Iraq that might not be dead if it was not for our illegal, immoral, unethical crime of an imperialist war of aggression against a completely innocent nation, and sure all of the leading Party of Jesus Presidential candidates think it is peachy keen to keep killing these people, but heck, they have lots and lots of oil.

And the worst part of it all is that this so called religious leader did not even blame gay marriage for all of the things going wrong in the USA! He obviously is NOT a member in good standing of the Party of Jesus. What kind of a Christian would oppose an unnecessary and unjust war? Certainly not a member of the Party of Jesus!

Our Glorious Christian Leader has even said that God told him to invade Iraq. Maybe God forgot to tell Our Glorious Christian Leader to bomb Canterbury Cathedral too. Maybe the Archbishop of Canterbury better be careful about what he says.

Technorati Tags: Iraq, Nuremberg Principles, Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, God told Bush, Our Glorious Christian Leader, war crimes, nukular weapons, manned and unmanned aerial vehicles, moral high ground, Anglican Leader, Emel, imperialism

The Party of Jesus received a welcome boost today when US Bishops took a break from altar boy training long enough to issue a stern warning to all Americans afflicted with Catholicism, they must vote for Jesus-brand candidates or burn for all eternity in a room with a looping Ann Coulter podcast.

Catholic voters who back candidates because of their support for abortion or other “assaults on human life” would be “guilty of formal cooperation in grave evil,” according to a statement adopted Wednesday by U.S. Catholic bishops.

The bishops defined what they called “threats to the sanctity and dignity of human life” as human cloning, embryonic stem cell research, racism, torture and genocide.

It is not (wink,wink) a voter guide, because voters are free to vote for the Party of Jesus candidate of their choice, as long as he Jesus opposes abortion, he Jesus opposes stem cell research, he Jesus opposes human cloning and what the fuck, how did this torture shit get in here? We can’t have people saying we must not torture, if you Support Our Troops™ you absolutely must not say that we should not torture. Only libruls speak out against torture. The torture thing must be a typo, they must have meant that Catholics may not vote for a candidate that opposes torture. of course, we don’t torture. But none of this opposing torture talk or the terr’ists will kill us all.

Stupid fucking bishops!

Technorati Tags: Catholic voters, Catholic Bishops, BALTIMORE, Bishop Nicholas DiMarzio, Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship, same-sex marriage, torture, stem cell, abortion, grave evil, sin, Jesus, Party of Jesus

In the continuing saga of perfectly innocent Party of Jesus legislators framed by the homosexual agenda New York intellectual liberal media elitist conspiracy, Party of Jesus representative Richard Curtis was forced to resign when a bunch of homo loving police officers tattle-taled on him for a night of wild sex with a male prostitute.

Just because he offered the sex worker, who just so happened to be male, a payment of $1,000 for hot Republican-style Party of Jesus man sex, now everybody is acting like he is some kind of a phony or a hypocrite or something like that. Curtis now joins a long list of perfectly innocent and righteous Party of Jesus heroes who have been victimized by dirty bastards that deliberately tell the truth on purpose. Among the other innocent men are former Congressman Mark Foley, former Spokane Mayor James West, former Party of Jesus clergyman Ted Haggard, and the completely heterosexual U.S. Senator who is absolutely not even a teensy weensy bit gay Larry Craig. All of these men are pious and righteous Jesus loving Party of Jesus moral leaders caught up in trumped up gay sex charges invented by journalists and other people intentionally telling the truth.

And now poor Richard Curtis, a well respected Jeebustarian hero that always votes against gay rights because he does not want to make the Baby Jesus cry! It’s terrible to see this poor man ridiculed by libruls.

Technorati Tags: Richard Curtis, gay republicans, Party of Jesus, not gay, Larry Craig, hypocrite, homophobia, gay sex, Washington state