Party of Jesus

A duel of sorts has broken out this week in the Colorado legislature as two Party of Jesus contestants vie with each other to make the most amazingly stupid yet stunningly vicious attacks on innocent Colorado citizens they are paid to represent. Our first contestant for Jeebus-brand asshole of the month is Colorado State Senator Scott Renfroe. For Scott's entry he went right to the most ludicrous and malicious lie he could imagine about gay people. Scott claimed on February 24th that voting in favor of giving spousal benefits to the partners of gay state employees would be like legalizing murder. Scott hopes his use of Party of Jesus hateful rhetoric against an unpopular minority will endear him to wealthy Caucasian Christian Fundamentalist bigots all over Colorado. At least he knows his constituency. Is he planning to run for higher office? He sure has mastered Jeebus-brand malicious lies!

Also vying for this months extreme hatred for Jeebus award is fellow Party of Jesus state senator Dave Schultheis. Dave decided to use the extreme opposite of compassion for his entry. Talking about innocent babies born to mothers infected with HIV, David showed his extensive knowledge of Jeebus' spiteful hatred when he suggested they should not approve HIV tests for pregnant women because their babies might not suffer if we did. Considering that Dave does belong to the Party of Jesus, perhaps he might be moved to a more compassionate stance if the bill under consideration included massive tax cuts for the very rich. Perhaps he is considering a move to the nation's capital? Dave definitely has got Teh Jeebus!

Seems like there are quite a few Christians in the Colorado state legislature. We're sure that Jeebus just loves their intolerance.

Technorati Tags: Colorado, State Senate, Republicans, Party of Jesus, God's Love, Compassion, Homophobia, HIV, pregnancy, HIV testing, murder, gays, hatred, intolerance, cruelty, state employees, partner benefits, Christianity, Jeebus

Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachman (Party of Jesus) has once again engaged in a no holds barred battle against her arch-enemy: Reality. In another psychotic rant far enough removed from reality to be worthy of drug addict Rush Limpblob, she complained today that the recent economic stimulus bill provided 5 billion dollars for the organization Acorn, which she stated is under Federal indictment.

In the real world Acorn is not under indictment and the stimulus bill does not provide any money at all to Acorn.

The extremely Jesus-brand Congresswoman also complained that many members of Congress have “a real aversion to capitalism.”

The Fundamentalist intellectual giant also claimed that the recovery package is part of a Democratic conspiracy to “direct” funding away from Republican districts, so Democratic districts can “suck up” all federal funds. Bachmann doesn’t think this will work because, as she put it, “We’re running out of rich people in this country.”

How just exactly like a Party of Jesus legislator to be worried about wealthy people. She does seem to know who her constituents are.

Technorati Tags: Michele Bachman, Minnesota, Acorn, lunatic, Jeebus, Fundamentalist, Obama, recovery bill

The famously insane Oklahoma State Rep Sally Kern (Party of Jesus) (website) has announced at a conference sponsored by the John Birch Society that she has found a secret copy of the infamous Gay Agenda in a book based on a musical that was, in turn, based on a story by Oscar Wilde.

Kern said the agenda is in a book called “After the Ball,” by Marshall Kirk and Hunter Madsen, a book named after a musical adaptation of Oscar Wilde’s “Lady Windermere’s Fan.” She recounted the bullet points of a secret public relations campaign to have gays accepted by the general public — step by step — with the final goal being not just acceptance of gays by heterosexuals, but eventual triumph of homosexuality as a superior lifestyle.

Among the items in the agenda, Kern said, was getting the public to view homosexuality as a matter of taste, like a preference for strawberry or vanilla ice cream. She quoted the text: “The masses should not be shocked and repelled by premature exposure to homosexual behavior itself.”

“You know,” Kern said. “I’ve done a lot of reading on this. I wish I could describe to you their behavior. I will not because I would be redder than this suit. It’s their behavior that we oppose.

“This theme of equality and freedom is the approach that the homosexuals are using today — totally perverting the true intention of what our Constitution meant. … The homosexuals get it — it’s a struggle between our religious freedoms and their right to do what they want to do.”

Around the banquet hall, Kern’s speech met with applause and calls of “Amen!” from a crowd stoked in a crucible of conspiracy and intrigue. For the whole day, the “Clouds Over America” conference, run and organized by the John Birch Society, held lecture after lecture Jan. 23 and 24 dedicated to explaining their various conspiracy-laden tenets. Here’s one — that a godless secret society, the Illuminati, has been battling against the founding of the United States of America and decent citizens to live in peaceful, worshipful freedom.

(source)

With Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich pretty much out of the picture, and George Warcriminal Bush hiding in Texas from prosecutors, US comedians can use a present like the one delivered by the famously psychotic, gun-toting Kern.

Sally became famous quite some time ago when a speech of hers was posted on YouTube including utterly preposterous claims, including that gays "are recruiting 2 year olds". This prompted our own long ago YouTube response to Sally.

Technorati Tags: Sally Kern, Party of Jesus, Gay Agenda, recruiting 2 year olds, YouTube, John Birch Society, psychosis, homophobia, Lady Windermere’s Fan, Oscar Wilde, Oklahoma, Marshall Kirk, Hunter Madsen, Clouds Over America