Party of Jesus

After years of patiently explaining to a befuddled nation that Family Values® means God Hates Fags, the Party of Jesus has recently introduced a brand new definition for Family Values, now it means conducting an extra-marital affair.

Take the recent case of South Carolina Governor Sanford, a rising star in the sinking party, who last weekend celebrated Father’s Day by ignoring his wife and 4 children to go hang out with his ho in Argentina. Governor Sanford was demonstrating his Party of Jesus Family Values by cheating on his wife and ignoring his young children on a day all about Fatherhood. We appreciate his sacrifice on behalf of the Party of Jesus, a leading provider of moral leadership.

Then of course there was the case just last week of US Senator Ensign (NV-PoJ) who announced from his piety control center in Las Vegas that he too had been practicing genuine Party of Jesus brand Family Values by cheating on his wife while simultaneously cuckolding one of his own male employees, since both the good Senator and his ho were cheating on their own spouses this raises the Piety Points received according to standard Party of Jesus sanctity preservation scoring rules.

If you are a member of the Party of Jesus, or you hope they will let you join, be sure to cheat on your spouse and then embarrass her in front of millions of people with your Party of Jesus public confession.

Help preserve the Sanctity of Extramarital Affairs, vote Party of Jesus!

Chances are God still hates fags though, so if you are gay, no worries.

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