The Party of Jesus, through their holy leader Sarah Palin, has exposed the sooper seekrit plans of Barack Obama to impose mandatory death panels on anyone stupid enough to believe anything Sarah Palin has to say.
In a special reveal of Party of Jesus dogma, Sarah Palin has exposed the brutal plans of our known Negro leader to require anyone over the age of 85, or anyone registered as a Republican, to submit to panels that will decide if they meet the mandatory death requirements.
We were lucky enough to get a sneak peek at the Death Panel component of the new health care bill. See if you qualify for the mandatory death policy.
Anyone who is:
- A Known, practicing Republican
- Opposed to gay marriage
- Owner of a small business
- Fundamentalist Christian
- Health insurance executive
- Opposed to government bailouts
If you match only 1 of the criteria above you will be placed on the Death Panel Standby List. This list is only used if the other criteria fail to meet the Kenyan Terr’ist Negro Non-Citizen Leader’s minimum death quota. Odds are you might be OK.
If you match up with any 2 of the criteria listed above you will be required to appear before your local Democratic Party Death Panel. Bring you Last Will and Testament with you, and please select an undertaker before you appear for your interview.
Should you happen to match more than 2 of the criteria listed above you will be sent to a US naval base located in a warm climate, kept in a cell without legal representation, and forced to listen to Rush Limbaugh broadcasts 24/7. Suicide assistance councilors will be available.